'Kind of a punch in the gut': Edmonton man shares unemployment struggles

Denny Sexsmith opened up about losing his job and how hard that was for his mental health. Jan. 29, 2020.

EDMONTON — In April 2019, Denny Sexsmith joined thousands of Albertans in the unemployment line.

He lost his sales job in the oil and gas industry. Instead of blaming the economy, he started blaming himself.

"You try running through your head what you did wrong, what you could have done better," Sexsmith said.

And then worry set in about how he would provide for his family.

"I didn't sleep very well. You wake up and it's stress because I'm the one who supports my family, I'm kind of old school that way so you know I'm thinking how am I gonna support my family? What's next?”

In December, Stats Canada released data showing 167,000 Albertans were unemployed.

Erin Vinkle, a mental health therapist, says people who lose their jobs in this struggling economy shouldn't take it personally.

"It didn't happen to you because you didn’t have the skills, it happened because the economy is tough," said therapist Erin Vinkle.

Vinkle also stressed the importance of keeping a routineso unemployment doesn't constantly affect your mood.

That's exactly what Sexsmith did."Getting up, taking the kids to school, we would go to the gym, work out and then come home and do the research online for some more jobs," he said.

He applied for anywhere between five to 10 jobs every day for nine months, and there were times he felt low and doubted himself.

"It becomes very frustrating and I'd try to keep myself from going to a dark place so that way I'm not taking it out on my family."

Vinkle suggests family and friends communicate and watch for signs of depressionand "anything that’s not typical of their behaviour."

Sexsmith says the support from his family is what helped him get through it.

Sexsmith and his wife Ashley cut back their budget and explained the situation to their kids aged 11 and eight.

"Being honest with your kids and your family is key in that moment so that way they understand why we can’t do it instead of just saying, 'We can’t do it.'"

His wife, who he described as his "rock," encouraged him to blog about what he was going through.

Just a few weeks ago, on his birthday, Sexsmith finally landed a new job.

"Things happen for a reason — you just gotta stay positive, which it’s hard."