Richard Berthelsen: There may be no coming back from Prince Harry's 'Spare' without an apology

“Dear, oh dear,” the King said as he greeted Liz Truss in one of her final audiences at Buckingham Palace before her ill-fated time as Prime Minister of the U.K. ended. He may well have responded with similar sentiments - or perhaps with stronger language - considering all that his youngest son has had to say in six hours of Netflix, three major television interviews and a 407-page book.

Prince Harry has made clear that he feels his family owe Meghan and him an apology and has said repeatedly that "the ball is in their court” while referring to the need for "accountability" if there is to be any reconciliation in the family. At the same time, Harry has expressed a desire to have his family back, particularly his father and brother. But there would seem to be little basis for the Royal Family to feel confident in communicating with him, particularly through letters and texts, which could end up being made public.

After so much build-up to the release of the book "Spare" in the past months, all eyes and ears are now trained on Buckingham and Kensington Palaces for any official or unofficial reaction from the King, or the Prince of Wales, Harry's brother. While the official communications offices supporting the Royal Family have kept a studious silence, those close to the Royal Family and various sources have let it be known that there is great hurt, sadness, and wariness on the part of the King and his heir.

Trust, if it existed before Netflix and the publication of “Spare” has gone out the window entirely, even though Harry has said that future conversations would be based on trust and in privacy. Given that Prince Harry has a four-book deal, there will be concern about what might be published or said in future interviews.

The palaces have always maintained a policy of not making official comments on matters within the family, unless absolutely necessary. In 2020 the incendiary nature of an allegation of racism was a necessary exception, although this accusation was denied by Harry on ITV.

While this is a new reign with a different King, and communications coming from the Palace have taken a turn to be more effusive and emotive than the late Queen might have authorized, it is difficult to see how the Royal Family can respond to the allegations made. Harry’s side of the story is a perspective they clearly do not share, and their recollections are highly likely to vary considerably from the view in Montecito, Calif.

THERE MAY BE NO COMING BACK WITHOUT AN APOLOGY

The King will be particularly upset about the remarks characterizing the Queen Consort as “dangerous because of connections she was forging within the British press,” which would lead to “bodies left in the street.” There may be no coming back from that without an apology – from Harry. Prince William will be particularly upset about the toxic sibling rivalry he has with his brother and their private disputes which have been aired, including with the Duchess of Cambridge.

While William may be angry at this invasion of privacy, it may be time for the family to consider how these miscommunications and disputes developed, and whether competitiveness in desire for positive media coverage has led to overzealousness by staff.

The British media have been subjecting various assertions and stories in the “docu-series” and autobiography to extensive fact checking. The Palace will be content, for the most part, to leave it to the media to point out the inconsistencies, hypocritical comments, as well as outright factual inaccuracy. Harry’s own anger at the invasions of his privacy and stories having been “leaked’ or “planted” in the media by members of his family and their staff with their agendas did not prevent him from doing so to the nearest members of his family.

Numerous details in the book are being questioned where the sequence of events, settings or context are wide of the mark.

The Palace has traditionally taken the view that to respond to some stories, and not others, suggested those that are not responded to may be true. So, in not responding to any, it acts in a consistent way, and tries to stay above the hurly-burly of manufactured scandals, and interpersonal conflict. The extent of disclosure of conversations, texts, and discussions, behind-the-scenes stories, as well as information that seems to be of a more prurient interest are well beyond what might be considered private. This leaves the Palace in the position where they simply would not wish to get involved in the line of fire.

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Any statement is likely to result in a response by the Sussexes, including those in the media who seem to speak for them, and this will keep the story in the media longer. There is every interest in ending the damage as soon as possible, given the impending events of the year as the Royals return to public duties following the Christmas and new year break. And the Coronation looms.

There are many major aspects about the Coronation, which are not yet public. These include the extent of public participation, other events which will take place during the Coronation weekend, whether the oaths will be revised to reflect a more contemporary era, and how the ceremony will be shortened compared to 1953. One of the big issues will also be the guest list. While in 1953 more than 8,000 were in attendance, this time they will be just 2,000 much as at the funeral of the late Queen.

This weekend the Palace let it be known that four living Royal Dukes (Including Harry and Andrew) will not be paying homage during the ceremony as they would have in times past. In May, this will be performed by Prince William only, as Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall and Cambridge. It was surely no coincidence that this information found its way into the media as the leaked excerpts of “Spare” added fuel to the fire. Expect more Coronation details in the days and weeks ahead to change the discussion.

COULD THERE BE A FROSTY RECEPTION AT THE CORONATION?

While Harry has said that the ball is in his family’s court - to most observers it seems clear that the ball will be in the Sussex court as to how to respond to an invite to the Coronation where they will have no formal role, and where there could be a frosty reception from the Royal Family to say nothing of the crowd. Public opinion of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex has continually dropped in the U.K. throughout the past few months because of the Netflix “docuseries” and this much more provocative book.

The King and Prince William and their consorts have a lot to do as the new reign is taking shape, and Prince William establishes himself as Prince of Wales, in succession to his father. There are foreign visits and travel throughout a very disunited United Kingdom, Commonwealth issues and symbols of the new reign to consider. As a result, a “Keep calm and carry on” approach is likely to be the watchword rather than a war of words and recollections, at least while the wounding words are fresh.

The frictions in the family have now been laid bare for all to see, and there is likely a sense that enough has been said, and the King and his heir will want to move on to focus on their core responsibilities in times of much public concern about the cost of living, the situation in Ukraine, and environmental disasters. For the Royal Family, actions invariably speak louder than words. The last thing the King, or the Prince of Wales wishes, is to become involved in a soap opera that is playing out as if it were a reality TV show.

While Harry has derided the British approach to “Never apologize, never explain” it is the way the family moves forward in weathering this storm, at least in public. A more likely outcome will be forgiveness and redemption over a lengthy time, which will heal some wounds. It is this approach, grounded in Christianity, that the King, as a person of faith and as Harry’s father may follow in finding his way through this public and dramatic rupture in a family that seeks to be about unity and to represent the best in public life.