‘I feel her guiding me emotionally’: Husband of Lapu Lapu festival attack victim reflects on a year without his wife

Sunday marks the first anniversary of the deadliest attack Vancouver has ever seen.

Sunday marks the first anniversary of the Lapu Lapu Day tragedy, the deadliest attack Vancouver has ever seen. Noel Johansen’s wife Jen Darbellay was one of the victims.

“Every time somebody asks me about her, immediately I get emotional, because it just it brings her back,” said Johansen. “She was like the quintessential mother. She just had extraordinary gifts of relationship and emotional intelligence that I only dream of having.”

Noel, Jen and their two children were walking though the Lapu Lapu Day festival on April 26, 2025 when a vehicle rammed through the crowd.

“I don’t even remember really seeing the car, maybe glimpses of it, and before I knew it, I twirled around and I had landed on my back,” said Johansen.

“I just immediately looked to my kids, and I saw Ford and I saw Darby. So it’s like, oh thank God my kids are OK. And that’s when I saw Jen. And I don’t think I’ll ever describe what I saw, because I think that’s my burden to carry.”

Darbellay and 10 others were killed in the vehicle ramming attack. Dozens more were injured.

“I did feel like I was in a terrorist attack. That’s exactly what it felt like. Like somebody set off a bomb and, you know, some of us got killed,” said Johansen.

Adam Kai Ji Lo, 30, has been charged with 11 counts of second-degree murder and 31 counts of attempted murder in the attack.

“I don’t really want to know about him. I don’t want to give him space in my head,” said Johansen. “I hope the rest of his life is hard for him, just as hard as it is for me.”

The an actor and owner of a local voiceover school is now navigating life as a single parent, raising 16-year-old Ford and eight-year-old Darby on his own.

“The one thing that has, I don’t know if it’s renewed or given me hope, is the community that has rallied around us in such a huge way,” said Johansen. “I would say the most support that I received was from women. Women know how to hold emotional space. I don’t think men even know what that means.”

Darbellay was a talented painter, and the walls of the family home are covered with her art. “To say she was extraordinary would be an understatement,” said Johansen. “Her understanding of colour was remarkable, and I could talk about her paintings all day.”

Those paintings were featured in a special exhibition this past February.

“175 people went and we created prints and postcards of it, and people bought those. And it all went to fund a foundation we created for Jen, which is going to be helping in terms of like art therapy and upcoming artists are emerging artists,” said Johansen.

As the first anniversary of the attack draws near, Johansen has been surprised by the rush of emotion. “You’re like, oh, it’s just another week as I progress in this journey of loss. But particularly this week, it’s kind of caught up with me,” he said.

While Darbellay’s presence is deeply missed, “I feel her guiding me emotionally,” said Johansen. “She certainly lives on. I can see it in my kids all the time.”