'I was scared to report it': Active military member speaks out about facing sexual violence
Warning: This story contains disturbing details
An active member of the Royal Canadian Navy says he is a military sexual assault survivor who wants meaningful change to come from former Supreme Court Justice Louise Arbour’s report on sexual misconduct in the armed forces.
The "women warriors" in the military, as Arbour has called them, are the main targets for sexual assaults and harassment but men too have faced sexual violence, and this member is sharing his story for the first time.
"I am living with the trauma," said the man, who is a petty officer, second class. "I do not think the Canadian Armed Forces recognizes the traumatic aspect of sexual misconduct."
CTV News has agreed to shield his identity because he fears retaliation for speaking out about his experiences.
"The victim is on their own to bring attention to the matter and advocate for themselves," he said. "Right now I feel like nobody's listening. What can I do to get people to listen?"
He decided to share his story on the very same day Arbour released her highly-anticipated report into sexual misconduct in the military.
Arbour said while conducting her review she found "a deeply deficient culture" within the military. She also said the time has come for the body to cede more control to civilian authorities.
"For all the hardship it has caused over decades, the attention that this issue has recently attracted presents opportunities for change that might have been unimaginable without such a shock to the system."
The petty officer said his hardship began in 2007, while he was on a routine training course. He said during a night out with other military members, he was drugged and raped.
"There was a drinking place, like a social club or pub, on base and I went there with some of the other people from the course," he said. "Like I had one drink and I was completely intoxicated."
He would later wake up "on the edges of the base" with "his pants down." Not long after, he said he went to hospital where he was medically assessed by staff. He also said that, instead of military police being informed, he was referred to the base chaplain for support.
"I was scared to even report it outside of the medical community, because the individual who I believe did it was more senior than me."
Fearing reprisal, he decided against filing an official complaint. He identifies as gay, and at the time he was not fully open about his sexuality. By reporting the alleged assault, he worried he would be discriminated against and that his military career might be impacted.
"I didn't want to bring attention to my sexuality," he said. "So with that, I carried a lot of shame with what happened and how it happened."
In her report, Arbour said complaints of sexual misconduct, which are generally handled by the chain of command, often go unreported. "Victims mistrust the chain of command and so do not report. I have heard this mistrust time and time again in the course of my review."
Army Reserve Officer Sam Samplonius is a survivor of military sexual assault who helps run It's Not Just 20K, a support and advocacy group for victims of sexual misconduct in the armed forces.
"If you have been sexually assaulted you need to be able to report that and know that something is going to be done about that," she said. "There are a lot of people that just don't trust the system because they have reported incidents and had them dismissed."
Samplonius said she and others have long advocated for what she calls a "survivor-centric" approach. She said that means military leadership must take into account how decisions and policies are going to impact "someone who is thinking about reporting, somebody who has reported, and someone who is too afraid to report."
She added that when changing how complaints are handled, one of the goals must be to "make it more comfortable for the complainant to come forward" so that they are not afraid of "career implications, being called a snitch or being ostracized."
Despite being afraid to come forward after his alleged assault, the petty officer did make an official complaint in 2019, however it was linked to a different incident.
"When I told my commanding officer about what happened, he told me to file a report. I was hesitant but he said that I had every right to come forward."
His complaint centred on a claim that he was sexually harassed and stalked online by a fellow member of the navy who was also a superior. "Officers are supposed to be trustworthy, so I decided to reach out to military police."
An investigation was launched, but it would take more than two years to reach a conclusion in the matter.
"In the end I was told that the complaint did not meet the criminal threshold," he said. "Pages and pages of documents submitted, along with me repeatedly asking for a resolution, and nothing happened."
He said the experience destroyed his trust in the complaint reporting process and the military as a whole. He also said both the alleged assault and sexual harassment left him with post traumatic stress disorder.
"The true hypocrisy lies with the treatment of personnel," he said. "One of our ethos is respect the dignity of all people, but you're not respecting people's dignity when they come forward with sexual misconduct complaints and nothing happens."
Arbour's report lists 48 recommendations for consideration by the federal government, ranging from terminology changes, to recruitment targets, and improved reporting schemes.
National Defence Minister Anita Anand said Ottawa “accepts” the report in its entirety and is currently in the process of implementing several recommendations including the immediate appointment of an "external monitor" to oversee the execution of the report.
When it comes to Arbour's report, while the petty officer would have liked to see her suggest the creation of a professional association, similar to a union, he said he is happy with most of recommendations including the inclusion of a greater civilian role in the military.
However, he said it is all meaningless without action and that the "real work " must start now because he says "there's been very little of that."
As for his military career, he said he no longer sees a future in the navy. Like so many others, he is now looking to leave and seeking a medical release.
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