Wife of former NHL defenceman asks league, NHLPA to do more for families of struggling players

The estranged wife of a former National Hockey League player who has become a drug addict after using painkillers and sleeping aid drugs throughout his career wants the NHL and NHL Players’ Association to improve the support it offers to the families of struggling players.

Tess White, the wife of one-time Toronto Maple Leafs defenceman Ian White, said in a series of interviews with TSN and CTV’s W5 that she has felt abandoned at critical moments by the NHL and NHLPA as her family has lurched through crises thanks to Ian’s substance abuse.

File photo of Tess and Ian White (Supplied)“The NHL and the NHLPA, when they say you are [our] family, you feel like you’re family when you're playing, but the second you leave the rink, you're not because they don't call you,” Tess said. “They don't care. It feels like they don't care. And I know I don't treat my family like that.”

The NHL’s care for its former players has come under scrutiny in recent years as more players and their families have shared their stories of struggle publicly.

In “The Problem of Pain,” a TSN/W5 documentary that aired in December 2021, former NHL players shared the health struggles they navigate after using powerful pain medications throughout their playing careers. The NHL Alumni Association recently hired a social worker to help former players in need.

Tess said more attention needs to be paid to the wives and children of former players. In her case, Tess said she has never felt supported by the teams Ian played for, even though some of his problems have been well publicized.

“We played on five NHL teams and not one person called me, nobody from any organization,” Tess said. “ And I don't understand how you can say you don't know there was a problem when it was all over the newspaper.”

Spokesmen for the NHL and NHL Alumni Association did not respond to requests for comment.

Jonathan Weatherdon, a spokesman for the NHL Players’ Association, wrote in an email that the NHL/NHLPA player assistance program and the emergency assistance fund have been resources for players while they deal with various hardships.

“Together with the NHL Alumni Association and the league, we focus a lot of time and resources on having effective programs in place for players and their families,” Weatherdon wrote in an email. “Many former players, families and staff members have received help through these programs. We welcome the opportunity to speak with Tess about her experiences and her suggestions of how the programs could be enhanced.”

File photo of Ian White while he was a member of the Toronto Maple LeafsIan was routinely given Percocet, Ambien and Lorazepam during his decade-long career in the NHL, Tess said.

After a horrible injury in January 2013, when his leg was sliced open by a goalie skate, doctors gave Ian the powerful opioid Oxycodone.

It wasn’t long before the then-Detroit Red Wings defenceman was addicted and in late 2014, White enrolled in the NHL/NHLPA player emergency assistance program and was sent to rehab in Malibu, California, for the first time.

In 2015, Ian was arrested in Winnipeg on drug charges and a year later, he went to rehab for second time – this time he and Tess arranged and paid for him to attend a program in B.C.

Three weeks after he returned home following that rehab stint, Ian overdosed in the kitchen of their home.

“I just remember screaming at him, just begging him to breathe, just breathe, just breathe,” Tess said. “I think at one point, I even tried to slap him. Like, ‘Wake up. Just wake up. ‘I just remember saying, ‘Wake up, let's go.’ And he just wasn't... His lips were blue, his ears were purple. He's just dead. He was dead.”

“I remember having to keep him alive, the CPR for nine minutes was the longest nine minutes before they came and helped me. At that point, I was just trying to get oxygen in him to his brain.”

Tess and Ian have been estranged for several years. After watching the yoga studio she owned in Winnipeg shut down because of COVID-19-related restrictions, Tess began supporting her children by cleaning houses.

Despite her family’s struggles, Tess says she wants to effect positive change.

She recently completed a diploma program in counseling and wants to work with the spouses of addicts.

“You're left picking up all the pieces that blew up while everything was happening, and it's overwhelming and it's scary, and I just thought I can be that person with my experience, and I can help other women get through what I had to get through, I had to do it alone, and I don't want anybody to have to do that alone,” she said. “No one should have to do that alone.”