‘It still matters’: Regina group helps those experiencing perinatal loss

WATCH: A local group is helping families dealing with perinatal loss. Hallee Mandryk reports.

Stephanie Roster spends many hours crocheting baskets for parents who might find themselves in the devastating situation she experienced four years ago.

Roster was introduced to the Twinkle Star Project after losing a pregnancy at 36 weeks. The grieving parents were gifted a handmade basket for their daughter Lyra.

“It’s something that you have the option to take home with you when you don’t get to take your baby home. For us, we brought our basket home, and that was one of the only things we got to bring home of our little girl, four years later, it’s nice to have something that she physically touched that was that was hers.” Roster, who is the co-president of the Twinkle Star Project said.

Roster shared that parents use the baskets in different ways to help cope with a difficult loss.

“Some parents choose to cremate or bury their baskets with their babies, in which case they can reach out to us with a picture of their basket, and we’re able to try and get them one as similar to their basket as possible, so that they have something of their baby at home.” she said.

The Twinkle Star Project helps families dealing with perinatal loss in many ways. While their basket program is the most well known, the organization also helps folks find resources and connects parents to one another through its peer support group.

Thanks to collaboration with several hospitals in the province, Roster was connected to the Twinkle Star Project immediately after she learned of her loss.

Some members of the group, like Pamela Read, learned about it much later after dealing with two pregnancy losses.

“I didn’t know about it then, all the supports they have, there’s counseling groups, there’s peer support groups. There’s these baskets, which I have two and love. Even just providing resources of places to go, people to see, that would have been so much more helpful for me.” Read said.

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Read now serves on the board of the organization, and aims to spread awareness around perinatal loss, and the strong community of support that is available for parents.

“We’re there to support people who have lost a baby, whether it’s during pregnancy or shortly after... It still matters whether you’ve lost it yesterday, today, a year ago, 20 or 30 years ago, a loss is still a loss. And no matter what stage of loss, you still feel some connection.” Read said

The Twinkle Star community is not exclusive to parents of perinatal loss. Many of the volunteers are simply wanting to support loved ones or anyone else going through a difficult time.

Valerie Ell connected with the program after meeting Stephanie Roster and hearing her story.

“I just wanted to be as involved as I could because I got to see how much the little basket that she got to lay in that was just hers. So Stephanie and her family, that was a big thing that kind of just hit home.” Ell said

Ell shared that creating the baskets is an emotional responsibility, knowing the impact they can have on families. For many, the basket will be one of the few items their child was able to call their own.

“Perinatal loss also encompasses shortly after birth. These babies never got a chance to have a bed of their own and a place to just lay and rest and have their parents hold them and smell them and have that little bit that was just meant for them.” Elle said

The baskets are made in a variety of sizes to accommodate the countless different circumstances that come along with perinatal loss. Some baskets won’t necessarily hold a baby, but they still provide something for grieving parents to take home from the hospital.

“We have sizes from extra small as little mementos for miscarriages and early losses, all the way up to extra large to fit full term and, over term babies that are stillborn.” Roster said

The organization hosts several fundraisers throughout the year, in addition to their annual awareness walk. Those who spoke with CTV News shared that the importance of keeping an open dialogue about perinatal loss, can make a big difference for those who are feeling the effects.

“If you know somebody who’s lost a baby, whether it’s during pregnancy or shortly after, don’t let them feel isolated. Speak their baby’s name because that is still their baby, whether they’re living or not.” Read said.

A simple hobby of knitting or crocheting, can be healing for more than just the person receiving a basket.

“I got the pattern to help make baskets, as a loss mom myself, it was so cathartic to be making those baskets because I knew how much it would help someone else.” Roster said

The organization operates thanks to the help of many knitting and crochet groups. Volunteers spanning from Alberta to Manitoba will send in boxes of these baskets to be dispersed as needed by the Twinkle Star Project. Anyone looking to take part is encouraged to visit the Twinkle Star Project website.