Movie reviews: 'Bullet Train' is a derailment that gets old quickly

'Wicked': 4 out of 5 stars Film critic Richard Crouse shares his take on newly-released movies including 'Wicked', 'Gladiator II' and more.

BULLET TRAIN: 2 STARS

Your enjoyment of “Bullet Train,” a new action adventure now playing in theatres, will depend directly on your enjoyment of star Brad Pitt. He’s having fun punching, shooting and generally behaving badly throughout, but it’s possible he’s having more fun than the audience.

Based on the Japanese novel “Maria Beetle,” “Bullet Train” stars Pitt as an assassin called Ladybug. Plagued by mishaps—“My bad luck is biblical,” he complains—he wants out of the criminal life. “You put peace into the world and you get peace back,” he says.

When his handler, Maria Beetle (Sandra Bullock), needs a replacement for a quick job aboard a bullet train heading from Tokyo to Kyoto, she reaches out. He gives her the “peace” line. Her response? “I think you’re forgetting what you do for a living.”

She ropes him in with the promise of an easy gig. Grab a silver briefcase full of cash and get off at the next stop. “What’s the catch?” “There is no catch,” Beetle says.

Of course, there is a catch. In this kind of movie, there is always a catch.

In this case, the world's fastest train is packed with some of the world’s most highly trained killers, and every one of them has some kind of tie to a psychotic crime syndicate boss known as the White Death. “He doesn’t need a reason to kill people like you,” says a passenger. “He needs a reason not to.”

Among them are Cockney killers Tangerine (Brian Tyree Henry) and Lemon (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), The Prince (Joey King), a British assassin posing as a schoolgirl and The Wolf (Benito A Martínez Ocasio), a Mexican murderer with a vendetta against Ladybug.

Cue the darkly, comedic action.

For all its high-speed antics, “Bullet Train” feels been-there-done-that. It’s as if Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie met in a head-on collision. Director David Leitch and screenwriter Zak Olkewicz borrow elements from both filmmakers, but despite the flash and sass, the quick edits and even quicker quips, their film lacks the gusto of its inspirations. It’s a familiar tale told with flashbacks, revenge motifs, pop culture references—one of the assassins endlessly quotes “Thomas the Tank Engine”—pop songs layered over violent fight scenes and Ninja swords.

It is, I suppose, a great example of reduce, reuse and recycle -- except other than the reductive script, Leitch doesn’t actually reduce anything. Reuse and recycle, for sure, but the film’s commitment to ultraviolence, sprawling cast and excessive 126-minute running time do not suggest a reduction of any kind.

Pitt appears to be having fun, but the character’s new age journey—he’s a non-stop font of “let this be a lesson in the toxicity of anger” style platitudes—grows wearisome and it’s hard to shake the feeling that the actor is revisiting his Cliff Booth character in the “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’s” LSD fight scene. It is a hoot to see him cold-cock a giant Anime character, but his befuddled killer act gets old quickly.

“Bullet Train” is a derailment. It’s a movie with the odd highlight—Lemon and Tangerine’s banter is a hoot—but despite its desperate need to entertain, it ultimately goes off the rails.

THIRTEEN LIVES: 3 ½ STARS

The Tham Luang Nang Non caves rescue mission in northern Thailand, that saw the Wild Boars junior football team and their coach trapped in a cave for 18 days, was worldwide news. The mission to save the team became the subject of “Rescue,” a harrowing documentary from filmmakers Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi. Director Ron Howard revisits those 18 days in June and July 2018 in “Thirteen Lives,” a tense new thriller now streaming on Amazon Prime.

The story begins as we get to know the Wild Boars, hours before their group decision to take a detour to explore a cave before heading off to a teammate’s birthday. Alarm bells are triggered when only one boy shows up to the party. It’s soon discovered the team is trapped deep inside a treacherous network of caves. As early monsoon rains approach it becomes a race against time to rescue the stranded soccer players before the caves fill with water.

When a rescue attempt by the Royal Thai Navy SEALs fails, local cave diver Vernon Unsworth (Lewis Fitz-Gerald) appeals to English splunkers, John Volanthen (Colin Farrell) and Rick Stanton (Viggo Mortensen), for help. After an arduous dive of more than seven hours, they find the boys alive, but how do they get them out through the winding maze of quickly flooding caves?

As water engineer Thanet Natisri (Nophand Boonyai) devises ways of diverting the water from the caves, anesthetist Dr. Richard Harris (Joel Edgerton) and cavers Chris Jewell (Tom Bateman) and Jason Mallinson (Paul Gleeson) develop an audacious plan to administer a sedative to the boys, ensuring they do not panic during the watery, claustrophobic swim to safety.

“Thirteen Lives” is first and foremost a tribute to the courage of, not only the rescuers, but also of the people trapped in their subterranean prison. In the showdown of man versus nature, it took bravery and brains to succeed, not just brawn. Howard takes his time, carefully doling out the details of the rescue plan, creating great tension in a story with a well-known ending. But knowing the outcome doesn’t take away from the effectiveness of the tale. The drama here is in the details, the careful planning and its bold execution.

Howard emphasizes action over character in many of the scenes, never allowing Harris, Jewell or Mallinson to overtly hero-it-up and pull focus from the mission at hand. The low-key performances dodge the white saviour aspect of the story, while emphasizing the key factors of communication, camaraderie and cooperation between the rescuers. It may be slightly hokey, but when the actual cave diving begins—the narrow caves are almost impossibly tight and very claustrophobic—the all-business approach gives way to a kind of wonder as Howard terrifyingly recreates the cramped retrievals.

“Thirteen Lives” does away with many of the tropes of a big rescue movie. Long speeches and back slapping are kept to a minimum. Instead, the life-and-death stakes speak for themselves.

PREY: 3 ½ STARS

Seven movies in, the “Predator” franchise takes extraterrestrial terror back 300 years to the Comanche Nation in a new film now streaming on Disney+.

The action centres around Comanche warriors Naru (Amber Midthunder) and her brother Taabe (Dakota Beavers). Raised on the Great Plains, Naru is a skilled hunter, but isn’t allowed to participate with the men. Her expertise is put to the test when strange things happen in her camp.

“There’s something out there,” Naru says. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“I’m not frightened by a bear,” snorts Taabe.

“It’s not a bear,” she replies.

Turns out it’s a Predator, a highly evolved alien hunter who resembles an outer-space crustacean and announces his presence with a series of unnerving clicks and throaty gurgles. Equipped with the power of invisibility and technically advanced weapons, the Predator attacks a group of colonizing French fur trappers and then Naru’s family.

The odds seem stacked against Naru in the resulting showdown, but, as she says -- “It knows how to hunt. But I know how to survive.”

It’s been tough to be a Predator fan in recent years. The alien bullies have been featured in several not-so-great flicks, including 2018’s suburban terror entry, “The Predator.” That one included lines like, “They’re large, they’re fast and f****** you up is their idea of tourism.” It’s a really bad movie that makes “Sharknado” look like “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

I’m happy to report “Prey” is a return to form. Directed by Dan “10 Cloverfield Lane" Trachtenberg from a script by Patrick Aison, this is a stripped-down, sci-fi action movie with a strong hero and tension to spare. The story is a bare-bones tale of survival, but given an interesting twist.

As an Indigenous woman, Naru is a determined central figure, one battling for her place in the tribe as well as for the survival of the only way of life she has ever known. Midthunder is terrific, making Naru jump off the screen with a minimum of dialogue. It’s a performance that delivers the required action, while still allowing a fully-formed character to emerge.

“Prey” takes the “Predator” franchise in a different direction while still maintaining the blood thirsty scenes fans crave. The image of an invisible Predator made visible by bear blood and guts is a standout.

“Prey” is a period piece that delivers solid action, but just as importantly, doesn’t treat its Indigenous characters as secondary to the story. A primarily Indigenous cast transcends stereotypes to create varied, interesting and complex characters in a genre that has not always been inclusive or respectful.

NOT OKAY: 3 STARS

“Not Okay,” a new clickbait satire starring Zoey Deutch and now streaming on Disney+, sets up an extraordinary situation to comment on an all too ordinary social media phenomenon.

Deutch is aspiring writer Danni Sanders. Her photo editor job at the Buzzfeed-esque website Depravity has yet to help her advance to writer status, as her story pitches fall on deaf ears. Aimless, with no friends, she is desperate to catch the eye of Colin (Dylan O’Brien), the coolest guy in the office, even if he is constantly enveloped in a vape cloud.

She’s invisible, even on social media.

“Have you ever wanted to be noticed so badly you didn’t even care what it was for?" she says. "You wake up every day thinking, ‘I want to be seen. I want to be important. I want to have purpose. I want to be known. I want to be loved. I want to matter.’”

To find meaning, purpose and maybe get a few extra followers on social media, she concocts a goofy plan to post faked photos from an imaginary Paris trip to glam up her Instagram account. She photoshops herself in front of the Arc de Triomphe, creates a backstory about being invited to a writer’s retreat in the City of Lights, and writes captions like, “Starting my morning right. Now where is my baguette?”

But then real-life tragedy strikes in the form of terror attacks around Paris and all of a sudden, Danni goes from zero to hero. Her account is flooded with comments. “I can’t believe you posted that photograph five minutes before the bombs hit,” writes a concerned follower. “I mean, what if it had been five minutes later? Could you even imagine?”

Danni enjoys the attention, and goes with the flow. She “returns” to the United States and her job as a “survivor,” with a new confident attitude and faux PTSD. As her online fame grows, she befriends school-shooting survivor Rowan (Mia Isaac), leeching off the activist’s popularity. Even Colin now finds her the most interesting person in the room.

Her dreams come true, but, she says, “be careful what you wish for,” as her lies spirals out of control.

“Not Okay” is a social satire that takes aim at the curated life of Instagram influencers and the dark side of the artificial fame of an online life. The attention starved user who fabricates a story for money or notoriety, is a ripped-from-the-headlines premise, one that frequently plays itself out in one way or another on social media, but it lays the foundation for the character work done by Deutch and Isaac.

Deutch doesn’t make Danni sympathetic, but somehow makes her actions understandable. Through the performance it is easy to see how this lonely, directionless young woman got caught up in the lust for acknowledgement. The story may be shallow, but Deutch’s performance reveals layers.

Contrasting Danni’s wanton ambition is Rowan’s heartfelt crusade for awareness. As a school shooting survivor Rowan is a combustible combination of trauma and anger, and Isaac embodies the earnestness and fear that comes with that lived experience.

“Not Okay” isn’t as hard hitting as it thinks it is. As a breezy look at the social media manipulation it treads familiar ground, but its ingrained sense of humour and performances make it worth a look.