Death of Calgary children highlights need for earlier domestic violence intervention: experts

The two children found dead last week are remembered at a vigil in the northwest. Advocates say there needs to be better protections against domestic violence.

WARNING: Some of the details in this article are graphic

The deaths of two children in Calgary last week have prompted renewed calls for earlier intervention in domestic violence cases – especially those where police respond to repeated calls, but no charges are laid.

The children, a five-year-old boy and three-year-old girl, were found dead inside a vehicle parked near a northwest police station last Thursday.

The children’s 37-year-old father was arrested at the scene. He has been charged with two counts of first-degree murder but cannot be named due to a publication ban protecting the identities of the children.

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Police allege the man called 911 and told dispatchers he had killed the children and then gave his location.

A candlelight vigil in memory of the two children is scheduled to be held in the 4500 block of 14 St. N.W. at 6 p.m. on Friday.

Police have said officers attended the family home for domestic-related calls on four different occasions, but no charges were laid.

The mother of the children also called police on the night the accused didn’t return with the children from a scheduled visit.

She was told police couldn’t do anything, but should attend court to address custody concerns.

Police later found the woman at the Calgary Court Centre to give her the news about the death of her children.

Advocates of domestic violence prevention say a proactive approach must be taken to recognize warning signs of violence, break the stigma associated with asking for help and offer meaningful long-term resources.

Warning signs before violence escalates

For Lana Wells, Brenda Strafford Chair in the Prevention of Domestic Violence at the University of Calgary, the case highlights gaps in how systems respond once domestic concerns are flagged and how broader risk factors are understood.

Wells says research and case patterns show domestic violence is often not random.

Instead, they can be linked to a range of developmental and behavioural risk factors, including exposure to violence in childhood, learned behaviour in the home and unresolved trauma or poor emotional regulation skills.

It also raises questions about how families are supported after police become involved, she said.

“To me, those are signals in a window of opportunity in which we could have diverted that behaviour – and it’s not all on police, their role is to see if there’s been a crime and to collect good evidence,” Wells said.

“But this is where community, neighbours, family, workplaces, schools, all have to show up if they are noticing and seeing something.”

Wells says once the system is involved with a family, more coordinated intervention is needed rather than fragmented responses.

“That father in this case needed supports differently that we were not providing him as a community. That responsibility is on all of us, and we all need to be engaged. We all need to learn how to disrupt violence within our networks.”

Wells also pointed to the need to reduce stigma around help-seeking, particularly for men.

She says recent research in Calgary has found 73 per cent of men charged with domestic violence had prior police contact through non-criminal domestic incidents.

“Often what happens is when police show up and there’s violence, but not enough to charge, they will sit down with the victim and create a safety plan,” Wells said.

“But that just puts the burden of keeping her and her kids safe on her, and I think we have to flip the burden to those who are causing harm and work with them. Does he have friends? How can he regulate? Where can he get support?”

Prevention and intervention efforts

Kim Ruse, chief executive officer of Fear Is Not Love, also notes the importance of taking a more proactive approach to domestic violence prevention.

“My heart absolutely breaks for the family and for the community,” Ruse told CTV News in an interview.

“In terms of upstream and primary prevention for domestic violence abuse, certainly we’re looking at interventions with children and youth, community interventions to help people understand what is violence and abuse, and how do you intervene safely,” she said.

“And then, we’re intervening with those who use violence in the first place.”

Ruse pointed to The Men & Project, a Calgary initiative she described as “a men’s digital engagement hub.”

“It’s actually a website with access to resources, articles, online tools, interactive tools about building capacity and skills to be healthy in relationships and managing conflict well.”

Ruse says tools for men have historically lagged behind supports for victims.

“There’s always been lots of resources for victims, but there has traditionally not been a lot for men,” she said.

“We’re talking about counselling that works on not just anger, but loneliness, depression, emotional regulation, conflict resolution — that sort of thing. it’s critical in terms of prevention around domestic violence and abuse.”

Ruse said domestic violence also extends beyond individual households.

“Domestic violence does not happen in a vacuum.”

“It is a public safety issue that spills over into communities, into workplaces, into schools.”

Police describe complex, high-risk calls

Acting Staff Sgt. Scott Mizibrocky of the Calgary Police Service domestic conflict unit says officers responding to domestic calls often enter unpredictable situations.

“Domestic conflict calls are probably the most volatile and difficult calls we tend to as police officers,” he said. “We don’t always know what situation we’re getting into.”

Mizibrocky says the presence of police can sometimes add pressure in already volatile situations, particularly when emotions are high or people are fearful of consequences, which is why de-escalation and careful assessment are key parts of the response.

He adds that officers assess risk, determine whether charges are warranted and connect people to community supports.

“We try to encourage both parties to potentially engage in one of the community partners that we deal with.”

Mizibrocky says those partnerships aim to support both victims and people who may be using violence.

“They will engage with not only victims but with potential offenders and males in those conflict situations and try to find supports not only for victims but also for men to try and break the cycle of domestic violence.”

Mizibrocky also notes that community response can be critical.

“Sometimes all it is takes is listening to the person,” he said. “Just saying ‘I believe you’ goes a long way.”

Legal limits and broader patterns

Jennifer Koshan, a law professor at the University of Calgary and research chair in family violence, says there is no specific Criminal Code offence for domestic violence, though existing offences such as assault, criminal harassment and sexual assault can apply.

“There’s currently a bill before Parliament that would criminalize coercive control,” Koshan said. “That’s a potential reform that at least some people think might make a difference.”

Doug King, a professor of justice studies at Mount Royal University, says legislative reform alone will not resolve the issue.

“It’s not going to be the complete solution,” he said. “It really is going to depend on how well responding police officers are trained to assess the risk.”

King says officers still require reasonable grounds before laying charges.

“It has to be more than just simply hearsay.”

Koshan says that domestic violence often presents as a pattern rather than isolated incidents.

“More and more, we’re beginning to understand that intimate partner violence often shows up as coercive control,” she said.

“Coercive control doesn’t necessarily involve physical violence or even threats of physical violence, it’s that ongoing manipulation and isolation or denigration of a victim.”

King says criminal law also typically comes in at the end of a longer process.

“We shouldn’t expect the criminal law to stop this,” he said. “Criminal law enforcement is going to be the last stage of a much more proactive intervention model.”

Koshan agrees that police may not always see the full context when responding to individual calls.

“It’s incredibly important that police have appropriate training on coercive control so that they understand that what may appear to be an isolated incident may be part of a broader pattern of coercive control,” she said.

She also noted children can be drawn into coercive dynamics.

“Children can often be weaponized by perpetrators of family violence and of coercive control in particular.”

“So even if there’s been no previous violence against the children themselves, they can become, sort of pawns or weapons in this perpetration of intimate partner violence, typically against the mother, and so police need to be aware of that as well.”

‘It’s OK to ask for help’

Lana Wells says preventing domestic violence requires a shift in how communities think about help-seeking, particularly for men, and a stronger effort to normalize reaching out before situations escalate.

“It is okay. We’re human. It’s part of the human condition. We all need supports and help,” she said.

“We need to support others, particularly men, to destigmatize help seeking. We need to create a community where it’s okay to ask for help.”

Calgarians experiencing abuse or violence in an intimate or family relationship are always encouraged to reach out for help.

There are many agencies ready to offer support, which can be contacted by calling 211.

The Domestic Violence and Abuse Helpline is available 24/7 at 403-234-SAFE (7233).

FearIsNotLove, which also offers a variety of resources for men, is available by calling 1-833-327-MENS (6367).

Calgarians can call the Government of Alberta’s Family Violence Info Line at 310-1818, which is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages from anywhere in Alberta.

The Alberta Safety Chat Line is available online between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. MST in English.

Victims of domestic violence can also contact the Calgary Police Service anytime by calling the non-emergency line at 403-266-1234, or 911 if you are in immediate danger.