‘Fed is best’: Parents say teachers should stay out of kids’ food choices

A child is seen carrying a tray in a school cafeteria in this undated file photo.

For one Alberta mother, school lunches are less about perfect nutrition and more about survival.

Erin, a single mother of a 10-year-old son, recently finished rounds of breast cancer treatment and is waiting to begin her next stage of care.

Fresh out of her savings, and income supports failing to cover her $1,400 rent, the Sherwood Park-based resident says food choices in her household are a constant balancing act.

“I don’t have the strength post-chemo to stand in the kitchen and cook. I can put together a sandwich and then need to sit down,” Erin said in her initial email to CTVNews.ca.

For Erin, what matters most is perspective. “No parent is making a child’s lunch with the intention of it not being good. They just want calories in. They want their kids to eat regardless of what’s in that lunch bag.”

Her story speaks to a broader debate playing out as the new school season is underway across Canada: how much say should teachers have in what children eat? While some educators see it as part of encouraging healthy habits, many parents argue that food choices are a family matter, shaped by health needs, cultural traditions, allergies or financial limits.

The tensions raise a bigger question about where nutrition education ends and food shaming begins.

“I’ve had to give up a lot of expectations I put on myself. I’m usually very food conscious. I love to cook, make nutrient-dense meals and make sure my kiddo has loads of protein and good fats to keep them going all day,” Erin says.

Her child, who she describes as a picky eater and light for their age group, usually takes to school leftovers, overnight oats, yogurt cups, bear paws, a sandwich and a piece of fruit.

“To be quite honest, fed is best, regardless of what they’re eating. They just need to be eating,” she says.

School lunches matter but they’re just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to children’s nutrition, registered pediatric dietitian at JM Nutrition Brianne Ozimok said in an interview.

“There’s lots of barriers with what goes into a student’s lunch, from time to make the lunch, cost of these things, throwing together kids’ preferences, hot versus cold meals,” Ozimok said.

CTVNews.ca asked readers to share their input on whether teachers should have a say in what goes in students’ lunch boxes. With more than 100 responses from parents and educators, here’s what they had to say.

CTVNews.ca has not independently verified all the emailed responses.

Special needs, sensory sensitivities

For many parents of children with autism, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) or other sensory and medical challenges, the issue of teachers monitoring or restricting school lunches goes far beyond a conversation about nutrition. Parents say that food policing fails to account for the reality of feeding children with unique needs.

One parent, Laura Grond of Hamilton, Ont., explained that her autistic son, who is nearly four, survives on a “limited diet” and relies on some processed foods to get his calorie and fat intake.

She said while some teachers may view this food as “unhealthy,” it’s important for his growth and development.

“There are ways to educate students about nutrition without shaming them for what is in their lunch box,” she said.

Stephanie Frey of Humboldt, Sask., whose eight-year-old son has ADHD and takes stimulant medication, shared that his suppressed appetite makes packing lunches challenging. “What he eats directly affects his behaviour and concentration … We would never send him something that would hinder his ability to learn,” she said.

“There’s been times where he will bring home a small piece of pie or a small baggie of chips that was sent for lunch, because his teachers won’t let him have unhealthy snacks,” Frey said.

Frey said a pediatrician’s note had to be issued in order for the family’s food choices to be respected.

Angela Grace, a psychologist and eating disorder prevention specialist, told CTVNews.ca in an interview that the biggest risk behind food shaming is the insecurity it creates.

“Some children have specific food preferences and food avoidance preferences,” Grace explained. “In some cases, children have been sent outside of the classroom to eat a granola bar or banana bread with chocolate chips in it, because the teacher decided the chocolate chips were ‘not healthy’… (it’s) dangerous for kids.”

Food shaming, eating disorders

When teachers comment on children’s lunches, the impact can ripple beyond the classroom. Grace explained teachers’ interference may undermine parent’s authority and children’s ability to trust their hunger cues, which could become a precursor to eating disorders.

Instead, Grace advocates for a food-neutral approach that avoids labelling foods as “good or ”bad."

“All foods have their place,” she said.

Michelle Alexander, a mother to a daughter in Grade 3 who has autism and ADHD, says, “As someone who struggled with an eating disorder, my goal has been to raise my children with having a healthy relationship with food.”

Another mother, Alanna Black of Oshawa, Ont., says her daughter, who is underweight and lives with gallstones, grew anxious about returning to school because of lunch supervisors’ comments.

Grace emphasizes that schools should promote nutrition universally, through education that celebrates cultures, tradition and variety. “When a teacher judges a child’s food, it sends the message that the kids can’t trust their parents.”

According to Ozimok, the key is ensuring children are fed, whether that means packaged snacks or home-cooked meals. When children are shamed, Ozimok says “it may lead to restrictive eating cycles because of the fear of overconsumption and then guilt.”

Teachers split

While many parents argue that teachers should stay out of the lunchbox debate, some educators see the issue differently.

Lynn Finley, an educational assistant in York Region, Ont., says sugary drinks and snacks often disrupt classrooms and put more stress on staff already managing behavioural challenges. “Allowing children to get hyped up on soft drinks, Gatorade and candy disrupts their ability to sit still and focus on their studies,” she said.

For Finley, moderation is key. “Sweets and treats can always be eaten at home at the parent’s discretion, but people need to understand that if they want their child to have the best success at school, proper diet is an important factor,” she said.

But other educators disagree. Richard Cunningham, a retired elementary teacher in Victoria, B.C., says he never commented on a child’s lunch. “Students come from very diverse backgrounds, with some being new Canadians and others with slim means for providing what one would determine a ‘healthy’ lunch,” he said.

That view is echoed by Peterborough, Ont., early childhood educator Robbie Peever. “I am not the child’s parent or guardian. We encourage healthy snacks first … We have a snack program we offer to those who run out of food and are still hungry. The bottom line for me is that they have food.”

Still, others like Grand Prairie, Alta., education assistant Amanda Mac believes schools can play a positive role. “I always try to model to them something healthy and give them different ideas.”

A recent University of Toronto study found that Canadian preschoolers get nearly half of their daily calories from ultra-processed foods, putting them at risk of obesity.

The study revealed nearly one in five of the more than 2,000 children they followed over a yearslong study were overweight or obese by age five.

Inflation, rising costs of food

The squeeze on Canadian household budgets and finances is a noteworthy factor, say some parents, altering how they plan their kids’ lunches.

“Due to the rising cost of food, employment and parent’s work schedules, it doesn’t always come out looking like a Pinterest worthy lunch,” said Amanda Cowin, a mother of five from North Etobicoke, Ont.

One area where consumers are still feeling the pinch is food inflation, which StatCan pegged at 3.4 per cent in August. StatCan data also shows that food inflation has outpaced general inflation for much of this year.

Janice Baxter of Orillia, Ont., said, “At a time when grocery prices are skyrocketing, and food insecurity is at an all-time high, cheaper options like jam on bread may be all a family can afford. Maybe the prepackaged snacks were what they were able to get from the food bank for that week.”

“In today’s economic climate, it shouldn’t be taken for granted that parents are able to provide that,” she added.

As food banks are seeing record demands, Erin says, “People are putting in their children’s lunches what they can afford ... If family is accessing a food bank, you’re you’re getting what you’re getting. So choice has become more limited.”

With files from The Canadian Press