Family of Calgary woman killed in domestic murder-suicide feels silenced

Family of a woman killed by her estranged husband in a murder-suicide outside a Calgary school say they are being prevented from sharing her story.

The family of a Calgary woman who was killed by her estranged husband in a shocking murder-suicide is hoping to share her story, saying they hope to change a system they believed failed her.

The 40-year-old mother of three was stabbed to death outside her children’s school in Strathcona Park on Jan. 16, 2024.

Her killer took his own life and was found dead nearby by police.

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The woman’s parents and one of her brothers want to share her name, her photograph and her story to raise awareness about domestic violence, but a court-ordered publication ban prevents them from doing so.

To comply with the order, CTV News cannot identify the family members either.

“She was very kind, happy – and also she was one terrific mother to those three angels that she left behind,” her 65-year-old mother says.

She visits her daughter’s gravesite daily because she says it’s where she feels the closest connection.

“This is the only way I can sit and have a chat with my daughter,” she says.

Why is there a publication ban?

The publication ban was initiated by the woman’s other brother to protect her young children.

“The children involved are related to the applicant, and they have experienced the devastating loss of both parents and will need to seek medical, emotional and psychological supports in a manner that protects their emotional and psychological well-being now, and in the future,” read the application, filed last year.

The other family members say now they never wanted the ban in the first place, but they also never fought it initially because they were grieving.

“It certainly created an impact in terms of our ability to advocate for my sister’s legacy and for us to speak out about intimate partner violence, which is clearly a growing problem,” said the brother who does want to share her story.

“Sometimes you feel like this is the only thing that’s left to do to make some good out of something so evil.”

The brother who requested the ban declined to comment on the case.

Estranged husband

Police revealed there was a warrant issued for the estranged husband’s arrest on domestic charges the morning of the attack.

Court documents show he had been charged on three separate occasions, including sexual assault against the woman in 2023, and released by the courts on a no-contact order, or emergency protection order (EPO), but broke those conditions.

“We never thought something like that would happen to our daughter,” said her father. “I’m still angry about this because I believe it could have been prevented for sure.”

Calgary police Chief Mark Neufeld recommended the family violence death review committee investigate the murder.

That committee was established by the province in 2013 to analyze cases of family violence and make recommendations to the government for possible intervention and ways to prevent similar deaths.

At the time of this domestic killing, Alberta Justice Minister Mickey Amery said the review would be initiated.

Now, 15 months later, the office of the minister of children and family services tells CTV News that “due to the confidentiality and sensitivity of cases reviewed by the family violence death review committee,” they are “unable to provide a comment or update.”

The woman’s family says they have never received an update from the province.

Lana Wells, an expert in gender-based violence prevention from the University of Calgary, used to serve on the committee and says there needs to be processes in place to ensure the recommendations of the committee’s reports are implemented.

“It is really around the political will and putting resources upstream and focusing on preventing perpetration with those that are causing it and the systems that are allowing them to cause it. We need to flip the script and focus on men and the systems that are enabling their behaviour,” she said.

While the case sparked conversations about bail reform, Wells said there needs to be a stronger focus on prevention and intervention.

“Men who get charged with domestic violence, almost 75 per cent of the time, the police have shown up at their house, they had a domestic violence encounter before, but we didn’t do anything for that family – and that is a key opportunity to make a change. There’s a court order, there’s an EPO, there’s an opportunity to be working with that guy differently. We’re not doing enough supports we’re not putting enough resources to work with the men to stop the violence.”

The calls for change are a sentiment shared by a family in mourning who are hopeful their loved one’s tragedy will one day lead to reform.

“She didn’t deserve this,” said the woman’s mother. “She was kind, giving and would do anything for others.”

Support is available for anyone at risk of experiencing domestic violence through Alberta’s violence info line, which you can call or text 310-1818.