Living up the sober life: Alcohol-free retreat connects sober community

Water balloon fights, tug of war and inflatables filled the Black River Wilderness Park in Washago for the Sober Island Retreat, hosted by SoberFriends Canada.

An atmosphere filled with energy, laughter and silly antics and a real zest for life, you would have thought alcohol was involved.

However, this event was completely dry—apart from the water balloon fights and lazy river rafting, just a couple of the activities that were part of the lineup.

Sober Island, a weekend retreat hosted by SoberFriends Canada, was an alcohol-free event in celebration of the sober life, a concept and lifestyle gaining in popularity.

“Everyone’s letting it all out and being themselves and really having an amazing time so I’m really happy to see this all come together,” says Dustin Jones founder of SoberFriends Canada.

Set along the shores of Washago at Black River Wilderness Park, the retreat welcomed people who were sober, sober curious or in recovery.

The retreat offered a variety of activities including yoga and breathwork, a lazy river run where people can float along Georgian Bay in an innertube, inflatable obstacle courses and camp-type games like Tug of War.

“This event is really important to everybody here because they’re all kind of learning to live life again and have fun without alcohol,” says Jones. “And to be around so many people like them, it’s making a huge impact.”

One of those people is David Emms, who’s coming up on two years of sobriety.

He tells CTV News that drinking for him started out as something that was fun. However, he says it quickly turned from a hobby to a habit and then, finally, a lifestyle - one that he says was full of depression, debilitating anxiety, awkwardness, feeling like he didn’t fit in, had no purpose and a general sense of doom.

After getting the help he needed at Alcoholics Anonymous, Emms says events like this are critical for people like him.

“I think it’s important because alcohol is very isolating. As the disease progresses, we tend to become more trapped within ourselves and we avoid social circumstances,” says Emms. “We avoid big gatherings of people like this because we don’t know how to relate without alcohol. And so, the beauty of events like this is that it helps us all to realize and to practice being out and doing things with our fellows, with a healthy mind, body and spirit, and without drugs or alcohol or any type of substance.”

He says it’s like learning how to live again without coping mechanisms.

Another participant in the retreat, Billy Brown, who’s been sober now for 13 and a half months, finds connections in groups like this one.

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety – it’s connection,” Brown says. “So we have to connect with others; connection with ourselves, connection with others, connection with a higher power, whatever that looks like for us. It’s super important for recovery.”

Brown tells CTV News it’s a challenge to connect in today’s world.

“Our society is really conditioning us to, you know, socializing usually means going to a bar or going to a cocktail lounge, getting together with the guys or the girls and having some beers, having some drinks. Really, it’s a matter of finding groups that aren’t centred around alcohol.”

And he’s found his place in different wellness groups like this retreat and also the Couchiching Cold Community, a group he started that goes cold-water plunging together.

After his interview with CTV News, Brown was spotted taking a selfie with fellow-participant Cass Henry.

While Henry simply identifies as someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, she historically struggled with suicidal depression and anxiety and said she turned to alcohol for a long time.

She stopped drinking in 2018 when she realized “it’s life or death at this point.”

Getting visibly teary-eyed, Henry tells CTV News about her revelation.

“I got emotional because it means everyone here was suffering with a struggle in their life,” says Henry. “When you get together, you realize everyone is struggling with the fear of being judged and not enough and like they don’t belong in this world. But when you get together you realize, everybody does. We’re just all unique.”

Not only did the retreat allow for authentic connection between like-minded people, but it gave many the opportunity to try something they haven’t done in a long time.

“People are doing things they haven’t done in many, many years so we’re really happy to see the many smiling faces,” Jones says.

Gemma Leggett, one of the counsellors for the retreat, was one of those smiling faces, taking in everything the event had to offer.

“Yesterday I was dancing on the table, we were dancing around the campfire. We’re having so much fun right now,” Leggett says with a big smile. “It’s so much better to wake up in the morning, sober and happy and ready to go.”

The retreat that ran from Friday to Sunday drew between 80 and 85 people.

SoberFriends Canada is a local non-profit based in Simcoe County that hosts dry events to connect like-minded people.

Jones says everybody is already looking forward to next year.