Have you been telling your children that they are more special than others? That seemingly benign expression of parental love may be creating little narcissists, a new study suggests.
Researchers in the U.S., the Netherlands and England found that children “overvalued” by their parents tended to score higher on narcissism tests.
Narcissistic qualities were found in kids whose parents described them as “more special than other children” and deserving of “something extra in life,” according to the study, published online in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
"Children believe it when their parents tell them that they are more special than others. That may not be good for them or for society," Ohio State University professor and co-author of the study, Brad Bushman, said in a news release.
Lead author Eddie Brummelman, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Amsterdam, said that parents may be inadvertently bringing out their child’s inner narcissist when all they’re trying to do is boost self-esteem.
The study, which was also co-authored by researchers from the University of Southampton and Utrecht University, involved 565 children and their parents in the Netherlands. The children were between the ages of seven and 11 when the study began.
Both the parents and the children completed four surveys, one every six months. Moms and dads were asked how much they agreed with statements such as, "My child is a great example for other children to follow,” and "I let my child know I love him/her."
Children were asked how much they agree with statements such as, "My father/mother lets me know he/she loves me.”
The children were assessed for both narcissism and self-esteem. The researchers found that children with high self-esteem believed they were as good as others, and were happy with themselves.
Narcissistic children, meanwhile, “think they’re better than others,” Bushman said.
The researchers found that “parental overvaluation” was associated with higher levels of child narcissism over time, while parents who showed emotional warmth tended to have children with higher self-esteem.
The researchers note that it didn’t seem to matter whether parents of narcissistic kids were narcissists themselves. They say parental overvaluation played a “key role” in contributing to a child’s level of narcissism, although genetics and personality traits also factor in.
In a statement, Bushman said the study’s findings have led him to rethink his own parenting style.
"When I first started doing this research in the 1990s, I used to think my children should be treated like they were extra-special. I'm careful not to do that now," he said.
