Teenagers are using dating apps more than we previously knew, according to research published this week in the Journal of Psychopathology and Clinical Science. The study found that 23.5 per cent of teens ages 13 through 18 used dating apps over a six-month period, which is more than past estimates. The study is believed to be the first to track how teens use dating apps by recording their keyboard activity rather than relying on self-reports, according to the researchers. The study found that teens who used dating apps didn’t generally have more symptoms of mental health challenges after six months than those who didn’t. However, those who used dating apps frequently were more likely to have symptoms of major depressive disorders. “This study showed some support for dating app users having greater depressive symptoms and greater engagement in risky behaviors,” said Lilian Li, a postdoctoral fellow in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago and the study’s lead author. It’s unclear whether that’s because the dating app users were harmed on the apps through things such as exposure to harassment or risky behaviors, Li said, or whether those who were depressed used dating apps because they had trouble connecting with others. Li cautioned that the study was small — it included 149 teens in the United States, 35 of whom used dating apps. And because it only tracked keyboard entries, it wasn’t able to measure things such as lurking or liking and disliking profiles. There’s still reason for parents to be concerned, because dating apps could also be harming kids in other ways. That’s why, when I speak to parents and students about how to handle kids’ use of apps, I suggest that teenagers not use online dating platforms at all. Teens can connect with predators online One reason I don’t think teens belong on dating apps is because they’re dangerous. Researchers have warned that registered sex offenders freely use online dating sites. Online dating particularly raises the risk of teens being catfished, manipulated into an emotional relationship with someone using an assumed identity. That creates the opportunity for the other person to convince the teen to share an intimate image, which can then be used for financial extortion or to pressure the victim into further exploitation. These risks make dating apps dangerous for adults but even more so for teenagers, because the teenage brain is wired to accept greater risks in the pursuit of rewards, according to the UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent. That’s why it didn’t surprise me that the new research found that teens who engaged in other risky behaviors, such as using substances and breaking rules, were more likely to use dating apps. We can’t expect teenagers to consider that the person they think is their new boyfriend or girlfriend might actually be an adult cybercriminal. Teens also can’t be expected to think through the potential consequences if they decide to meet up in person with someone they connected with online. “Minors are not permitted on our dating apps, full stop,” said a spokesperson for the Match Group, which owns Tinder, the most-used dating app among teens in the study. “Our platforms are for adults 18 and older, and we deploy industry-leading technology and human oversight to keep underage users off them. Our brands deploy sophisticated safety tools including AI-powered age verification, ID verification, and device blocking, as well as human moderators to proactively detect and remove minors and bad actors. “We work with longstanding partners like THORN to enhance safety measures and, this year, supported the founding of ROOST, a nonprofit focused on building scalable tools for child safety. We continue to invest in cutting-edge tools, technology, and partnerships to help ensure our platforms remain safe for the communities we serve.” The spokesperson also noted that the Match Group offers a safety tool to conduct background checks on users and that the statistics in the new research include social discovery apps, which are different from dating apps. Dating apps don’t teach teens to have healthy relationships The problem is not just that dating apps are dangerous, which they can be. They can also send the wrong signals to young people about human relationships. If you want to establish and maintain a relationship with someone in person, you generally have to learn things like how to have a two-way conversation, show consideration for the other person and even resolve disagreements that might come up. These are all skills that teens need to practice and which will serve them well in many aspects of their lives. They’ll not only help youth deal with people such as future professors and employers but will likely make them happier over the long run. Close relationships are even more important for our happiness than things such as money or fame and are also important to our health, Harvard University researchers found in one of the longest studies of adults ever conducted. In interviews for my book, people told me they felt dating app users invest less in the relationships they form with their “matches” because the apps convey the impression that there are always more people available to swipe on. “If someone upsets you for the smallest reason, you can go to a dating app and find someone else,” one woman told me. So teens are learning they can walk away from dating apps feeling like romantic partners are easily obtained and let go, rather than learning to refine skills to maintain close offline relationships. There are other ways to meet their needs To start conversations about these concerns, parents should check in with teens on whether they’re using or want to use dating apps. If teens say yes, it’s an opportunity to consider how they can meet their needs in other ways. For example, if teens are lonely or want to find a romantic partner, one of the best things we can do is let them get together with peers in person. They can connect with friends and even potential romantic partners who share similar interests by signing up for extracurricular activities. It is also an important way of helping teens feel like they matter, which is one of the best means for promoting well-being. The new study found that dating apps may give teens who are sexual and gender minorities in their communities ways of making valuable social connections. It would be even better, however, for parents to explore how such teens can make those connections by meeting up with the kinds of people they want to know face-to-face. Some teens may also want to use dating apps because some platforms have suggested they have algorithms that can match people with their soulmates — or at least compatible romantic partners. However, decades of research tells us this isn’t possible, because it turns out that people’s personality traits don’t actually predict whether they’ll do well as a couple. Prepare teens for using dating apps in the future Still, 30 per cent of Americans have used a dating app or site at some point, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, so it’s possible that your teen will find a way to evade your rules against using them now or will use one in the future. That’s why you should talk to teens about how to stay safe on dating apps if they do use them at any point in their lives. I recommend video chatting with people before meeting up in person to confirm that they appear to be who they say they are, meeting in public places, telling loved ones where you’re meeting, telling the person you’re meeting that your loved ones know where you are, and not being alone with someone until you’re confident you can trust them. I know parents think their children would never use a dating app or go meet a stranger they only know online. But since this new research suggests teens are using these apps more than parents may realize, it’s best to be prepared. Whether teens are just breaking your rules or getting into trouble online, they are missing out on learning to establish healthy relationships face-to-face. That’s why parents should talk to teens now about these concerns, helping them get their dating lives started on the right track instead of merely swiping right.
