‘A roller coaster in pain and pleasure’: Why this American couple say moving to Spain was like ‘leaving a bad relationship’

Laura Hamlin and her husband Allan Amer moved from the United States to Spain in 2022, but things have been far from smooth sailing since then. (Laura Hamlin via CNN Newsource)

They quit the United States for Spain in 2022, and Laura Hamlin and her husband Allan Amer describe the experience as like leaving a “bad relationship.”

According to Laura, originally from New York, struggled to feel at home after moving from New Jersey to Florida in 2012, and the “divisive” political environment was wearing her down.

“I was waiting for America to feel like it used to feel,” Laura, who previously worked in real estate, tells CNN Travel, adding that it felt like “leaving a relationship that you knew was a bad one.”

“You want what you had in the beginning. And it’s just not there.”

Political tensions

Laura and Allan, who’ve been together for 27 years, eventually decided to spend a few years traveling around in a campervan before moving to Spain.

However, things have been far from smooth sailing since then. In fact, the couple were forced to return to the U.S. just six months in, after an unfortunate accident.

“Life has been a roller coaster in pain and pleasure,” says Laura.

Reflecting on their decision to leave Florida, Laura explains that they felt uneasy in the Sunshine State due to the political climate.

“People were very opinionated and political and holding nasty signs…” she says, before explaining that they moved around, but didn’t feel welcome anywhere.

“It was almost like we couldn’t find a place that felt like home… I didn’t feel comfortable there anymore.”

According to Laura and Allan, they chose Spain because it was a country that they’d visited on several occasions and “stayed longer each time.”

“We don’t know if the Spanish politics is crazy because we don’t speak the language well enough,” jokes Allan. “But we do know that the U.S. is crazy. Laura wanted to escape more. I just wanted to travel.”

But before embarking on a new life in Spain, the couple decided to go on a road trip together.

“I looked at Laura and said, ‘I don’t want to live anywhere for 12 months,’” says Allan.

Laura adds that she’d spent a lot of time traveling while working in the military during her younger years, and never lost the “wandering bug.”

“I am married to Laura the Explorer,” adds Allan.

After selling their three properties, which included two rentals, they set off on a road trip to Idaho, traveling through Minneapolis and Colorado.

“Some definitely looked at us as if we had lost our minds,” Laura recounts.

Before leaving Florida, they began the process of applying for a non-lucrative visa, which allows non-EU nationals to live in Spain without working as long as they can prove that they have enough money to support themselves.

“It was tedious,” Laura says. “It did take three months. We had to hang around in the United States waiting for it (the visa) to come through.”

When their visas were finally approved in December 2022, the couple, who were in Germany at the time, flew home on the “most expensive flight ever on Aer Lingus to Florida” to deal with the paperwork before heading to Spain to begin their new lives.

“We arrived on December 22,” says Laura. “So we didn’t spend Christmas with our families.

“But by that point, after hopping around waiting for our visa approval, they were ready for us to go.”

New beginning

The couple took to life in Spain quickly, and were thrilled to finally be living out their dream.

“Our first few months were exciting,” says Laura. “I had to pinch myself. I couldn’t believe we really did it.”

Once they’d gotten settled, Laura and Allan made a point of traveling to as many parts of the country as they could.

“We would do day trips, and we would do weekend trips,” says Allan. “We went to Granada, we went to Cordoba. We went to Toledo… We stormed a lot of castles.”

Laura points out that she’s fascinated by Spanish history and loves being able to explore the country’s many historical monuments.

“Being an American, we’re kind of babies at that,” she adds.

Laura and Allan were having the time of their lives until things took a disastrous turn when Allan tripped in a grocery store, suffering kidney damage and six broken ribs, around four months after they arrived.

Although they’d paid for private Spanish medical insurance for a year in advance in accordance with the requirements of their visa, they learned that they weren’t actually covered yet.

“There is a stipulation that you cannot use it within six or eight months of being in the country,” explains Laura. “They dropped us and refused to pay for Allan.”

As a result, they ended spending a chunk of their savings on Allan’s four-week stint in a Spanish hospital.

“I regret that we didn’t read the small print,” Laura adds.

During this time, Allan lost a huge amount of weight and was unable to walk.

“After enjoying the Spanish hospitals, and no insurance, I decided I better get back to the U.S.,” he adds.

So just six months after moving to Spain, Laura and Allan were on their way back to the U.S. — Laura hired a private nurse to help take care of her ailing husband during the journey.

“We rented a house near my daughter in Spring Hill (north central Florida) and he recuperated there,” she says.

Once Allan was back on his feet, they hit the road in their campervan once again, traveling to Montana and Glacier National Park.

While Laura and Allan intended to go back to Spain as soon as possible, their return was delayed due to various health setbacks.

“Since 2019, I’ve had problems — feet, neck,” says Allan. “And my back, my accidents. So it’s been hard for her (Laura). She’s my angel.”

Although they almost gave up on the idea, the couple ultimately decided to try again.

“We were in assisted living for two months, having moved our stored furniture in, thinking we would stay there,” says Laura. “But Allan bounced back remarkably.”

Laura and Allan returned to Spain in November 2023, arriving in just enough time to fulfill the amount of time allowed out of the country as part of their visa requirements.

“We just made it,” says Laura. “This time around is much better.”

Laura and Allan have been happily living near Cartagena, located in the Murcia region of southeast Spain, since then and plan to remain there for the foreseeable future.

They say they love the Spanish way of life, as well as the “travel and the cheap wine.”

Although Laura and Allan admit that the Spanish schedule, which sees some businesses close for siesta in the afternoons, was “frustrating in the beginning,” they stress that they’re “not bothered by it” now.

“Even in the U.S., around three o’clock, I would be taking my nap after exercising,” says Allan, before explaining that he’d often go for a morning swim while living in a condo association with a pool in Florida.

“By three o’clock, I’d be exhausted and I’d be sleeping. So siesting here fits my lifestyle perfectly.”

Laura notes that they sometimes find themselves looking at the clock in the afternoon and realizing that the banks are about to close.

“We’re like, ‘Forget it. We’ll do it tomorrow,’” she adds.

However, there’s one aspect of life in Spain that they’ve always struggled with — learning the language.

Language barrier

Laura and Allan are taking online Spanish classes and using apps — “the one with the owl.”

However, they confess that their Spanish still leaves much to be desired, and their attempts at attending in person classes haven’t gone so well.

“There’s free Spanglish classes at the library every Friday,” says Laura. “We went to three, but we’re Googling because we don’t understand what’s going on.

“And finally, the woman that leads the class said, ‘You don’t know enough Spanish to be here. Just come back when you know more Spanish.’”

Medical insurance was also an issue for the pair in the beginning, particularly due to Allan’s health issues.

“We overpaid for private insurance because we had to have it, and there’s so many limitations for me,” says Allan.

“When I got the coverage, there were four paragraphs of what they cover and four pages of what I’m excluded from.

“Now luckily, I qualify for the Spanish system.”

Spain’s universal healthcare system, known as the SNS or Sistema Nacional de Salud, is available to residents of the country.

“When I go to my local doctor here, he takes his computer, puts his Google Translate up, and we have a fine conversation,” adds Allan.

Laura and Allan have made numerous friends, mainly from the United Kingdom, during their time in the country and say that their social life is actually better now than it was in Florida.

“She’s a social butterfly. I hate people,” jokes Allan.

For the couple, one of the biggest differences they’ve noticed about Spain is that “everything is smaller, including grocery stores.”

“But it’s also healthier,” says Laura. “Because you don’t have so many processed things to choose from.

“You don’t have a whole aisle of sugar cereals… There’s certain things that I can’t find, but it’s not a big deal. I think we’re much healthier now.”

Lower living costs

Laura and Allan find Spain to be far more affordable than the U.S., pointing out that they always notice the increase when they return for visits to see their families – both have children from previous marriages.

“I know that it’s sticker shock when we go home to visit and go in the grocery store…” says Laura.

“I know my family back there, my friends are all worried about it and complaining about the cost of living right now.

“The cost of housing has escalated tremendously there. So we’re glad to have a more affordable, simple life here.”

They pay 550 euros a month for their three-bedroom apartment, which has a view of the mountains.

“We love our landlady,” adds Laura.

While things certainly haven’t always gone to plan since their big move, Laura and Allan try to have a relaxed approach, taking any setbacks in their stride for the most part.

“We understand that there’ll be learning curves and there’ll be problems,” says Allan. “And when we take trips, it’s never uneventful.

“There’s always something that comes up that we have to figure out and deal with, whether it be the SIM card or phone.”

Laura admits that they struggle with the “bureaucracy of things” at times, but notes that she tends to get more nervous “because I don’t speak the language.”

The couple are currently in the process of renewing their non-lucrative visa, which will allow them to remain in Spain for a further two years.

When asked if they’d ever return to the U.S., Laura stresses that she doesn’t envision herself returning to Florida, as she was never happy there.

“It might have been different if we would have lived in a different area or state,” she concedes, explaining that she enjoyed living in Buffalo, New York. “My family is still in that area, and I still have friends there.”

However, they’ve discussed potentially heading back to Buffalo if Allan’s health were to deteriorate.

“If it got to the point where he needed to be taken care of – which I don’t see happening at all, because he’s exercising now and getting much better,” says Laura.

“But he does sometimes have difficulty walking long distances and stuff like that… So if he needed care, we’d probably go back.”

While she’s hopeful that this won’t be necessary, Laura is keeping an open mind.

“If someone would have told me I’d be living in Spain six years ago, I would have said they were crazy,” she says. “So you never know what life has in store… I never say never anymore.”

As for Allan, he’s happy living anywhere provided his beloved wife is by his side.

“While we love the country, I’m very fortunate to have an angel,” says Allan. “I tell people that Laura is the key to my enjoying life no matter where we are.”

Tamara Hardingham-Gill, CNN