You aren't the only one who just sits in the car before or after a long day

A driver sits in his car in an empty parking lot in Calama, Chile, Friday, April 14, 2023.

Have you ever pulled into the driveway of your home or a parking lot spot and just ... stayed there?

Maybe it’s a few minutes, or half an hour. You might be scrolling on your phone, belting out a favorite song or just staring into the distance.

Scroll through TikTok and you’ll find countless videos of people wondering aloud why they’re doing the same thing: arriving at work, home, the gym, and then just sitting in their car. Some get there early on purpose. Others stay long after they’ve parked.

The behaviour is so common it’s become its own kind of ritual, one people are increasingly recognizing and sharing online.

It turns out, science has a few ideas for why people do this. Whether in a car, on a sidewalk or just outside a door, that temporary pause can act as a buffer between one part of the day and the next. And while there isn’t an extensive body of research to back it up, experts say this can be good for you — if you keep a few things in mind.

“A lot of times we’re just going 100 miles an hour,” said Jenny Taitz, a clinical psychologist who runs her own practice in Beverly Hills. “But if we can literally stop, like slow down, take a step back, observe, proceed mindfully, maybe like a few minutes to reset between activities, it kind of gives you an ability to be intentional.”

Parked car breaks serve as an emotional reset

Brief moments alone can help reset emotions when moving from one thing to another — like leaving work stress behind before coming home.

“By taking a brief little break, you can at least take a moment to relax and prepare before moving forward,” said psychologist Anthony Vaccaro with the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Vaccaro sits in his parked car for a few minutes after arriving home from work, turning up the speakers to listen to just one more song.

People seek out these breaks to process, recalibrate and shake off the gloom. And doing it in a car make sense because “it’s an in-between space,” according to psychologist Thuy-vy Nguyen with Durham University in England and founder of Solitude Lab, which studies how being alone affects and rejuvenates us.

The car is an environment people can have total control over, from the temperature to the music.

What you do in that moment matters

Scientists say taking brief moments to decompress during the workday and after can improve mood, sharpen focus and boost energy levels.

When it comes to breaks in the car, though, whether that pause helps — or hurts — depends on how the time is spent.

“If you’re in your car scrolling and thinking about something that’s upsetting to you or ruminating, you know, in your head spiraling, the parked car is not a reset. It’s the stressor,” said Taitz.

Scrolling on your phone can pull your attention toward what’s happening on the screen, which can in turn make it harder to decompress.

If sitting in a parked car has become a habit, be mindful of how you’re spending the time. Take a few moments to slow your breathing, listen to a familiar song or make a simple plan for how you want to show up next — whether that’s feeling calmer, more patient or more focused. Even a short pause can shift your state.

“You could change your blood pressure in five minutes,” Taitz said, referring to simple techniques like slowing your breathing or relaxing your body.

Think of it as a pause, not an escape

There’s a difference between a helpful reset and avoidance. If the parked car breaks are making you late for important meetings or dinner with friends, or it feels difficult to get out of the car and confront the rest of the day, they may do more harm than good — or indicate that something more serious is going on.

“It’s really about why you’re doing it, and whether it’s interfering with other aspects of your life. That’s really what’s going to determine whether this is a good or bad behaviour for you,” Vaccaro said.

Decompressing in a car can be about more than just shaking off stress. The sheer volume of information people take in every day can make a quiet pause even more essential and rewarding.

“We’re always juggling so much, not taking a lot of time to slow things down,” Taitz said. “Trying to find those moments can allow for things to be happier and more joyful and fulfilling.”

Think of it less like stalling, and more like refuelling.

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The Associated Press Health and Science Department receives support from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute’s Department of Science Education and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. The AP is solely responsible for all content.

Aya Diab And Adithi Ramakrishnan, The Associated Press