"The Three Musketeers"
Richard's Review: 2 stars
"The Three Musketeers," a new 3D look at an old story, misses an opportunity to inject some much-needed spark into its storytelling by focusing on the wrong characters. In thirty some odd cinematic retellings of the classic Alexandre Dumas tale of bravery and swordplay, the focus has always been on the men. The new version finally features some grrrrl power, but squanders a great character by not giving her enough to do.
Shot on sumptuous sets in Germany, the first half of the film adheres closely to the Dumas novel. When we first meet D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) he is a brash young man, leaving the countryside on his way to Paris where he intends to become one of the legendary Musketeers, just as his father had been. The elite swordsmen -- Athos (Matthew McFadyen), Porthos (Ray Stevenson) and Aramis (Luke Evans)-- however, have fallen on hard times. Warriors with no war to fight, they have become obsolete, more prone to drinking and womanizing than doing the King's bidding. Soon enough the four men find a reason to pick up their swords again in the form of an English enemy, Lord Buckingham (Orlando Bloom), a devious holy man, Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz), the double crossing Milady DeWinter (Milla Jovovich) and the disappearance of the Queen Anne Diamonds.
"The Three Musketeers" looks beautiful, with costume and set decoration second to none, but beauty, as we all know, is only skin deep. It's what's underneath that really matters, and unfortunately, there's not much under the surface.
The Musketeers themselves are empty suits, beautifully costumed without any substance. Only ray Stevenson as the head-bashing Porthos brings any sense of adventure or fun to his character. The rest are seat fillers for actors you would have rather seen in these roles. The silky-voiced McFadyen makes one wonder what Alan Rickman could have done with this role, while Evans begs comparison to no one because he barely registers. Lerman, the film's lead, is a pretty face delivering lines ... badly.
Even Orlando Bloom, who some "Pirate of the Caribbean" style experience with this sort of epic story is mostly distinguished by his Elvis-bedhead hairstyle. Even Waltz, who has playing a bad guy down to a science, fails to really make an impression.
The men mostly strike out but Jovovich as the film's resident evil character, the double-crossing Milady, is tons of fun but underused. Flip-flopping her loyalties she's a dastardly, but underused, piece of work. If she—and her stylish corsets and even more stylish fight scenes—had been the star of the show "The Three Musketeers" might have been able to distinguish itself.
As it is it's simply a retread of an already familiar story mixed with "Wild Wild West" style anachronisms -- the old school airships, for instance, have been done before and better in "Time Bandits" -- which makes the sequel-ready ending seem overly optimistic.
"Paranormal Activity 3"
Richard's Review: 3 1/2 stars
I'm a bit of a sucker for things that go bump in the night. The "Paranormal Activity" movies have made a series (and a fortune) playing up on the fear of noises in the dark. The sound in the kitchen. The rustle of a curtain when the window is shut. No other movies have made the switching on and off of a light so sinister. Now, even though the series should be a little long in the tooth by now, the inventively named "Paranormal Activity 3," still made me jump.
As Southside Johnny would say, "Third verse, same as the first." The new film is a prequel to the first films and follows the template set by the first two movies. Set in the VHS era of 1988, recurring characters Katie and Kristi Rey are little girls, living with their mother (Lauren Bittner) and her boyfriend (Christopher Nicholas Smith), a wedding video editor. When they start hearing strange sounds in their new Carlsbad, California house, he sets up video cameras to find out what's keeping them up at night. The movie asks the question, Is the boyfriend obsessed or is the house possessed?
"Paranormal Activity 3" is 99 per cent anticipation, 1% payoff, but the 1 per cent is pretty good. I think the low-fi feel of the movies -- the picture really does look like home video most of the time -- combined with really natural performances from unknown actors make the "Paranormal Activity" movies feel like real "found footage" movies. Most movies of the genre are a little too slick. These aren't. There's no music, no stars and it feels like you're watching something that could be real.... almost.
I say almost because the premise is stretched a little far in number three. Why does the boyfriend videotape things when he should be running for his life? But the underlying idea that these demons (or whatever they are) terrorize the characters at home, usually at night during the sleeping hours when they are most vulnerable, is still effective and giddy ghouly good fun.
"Dirty Girl"
Richard's Review: 2 1/2 stars
I liked "Dirty Girl" more last year when it was called "Easy A" and starred Emma Stone, but despite its similarity to that year old comedy, it has one very big thing going for it -- the scrappy charm of star Juno Temple.
It's 1987 in a small god-fearing town. Temple plays Danielle, the school dirty girl who reluctantly befriends an overweight, gay classmate Clarke (Jeremy Dozier). They are two kids who go on a road trip, one who wants to reconnect with a father she's never met and another who wants to get away from a father he knows all too well. Their friendship dulls her hard edge and allows them both to be themselves.
The "Easy A" reference comes from the early part of the film. Danielle does Clarke a kindness and pretends to be his girlfriend so his homophobic father (Dwight Yoakum) will leave him alone. Beyond that it plays like a low budget, raunchy John Hughes comedy. It deals with real issues -- teen rebellion, abandonment and coming out of the closet -- but for every moment that feels authentic there are two more that feel forced or farcical.
Temple rises above it all with bluster that covers real vulnerability. It's the kind of performance that gets young actresses noticed. Too bad it is in such a lackluster movie. Not to worry, though, we'll see much more of her in the new "Three Musketeers" reboot.
