Country music superstar Shania Twain holds nothing back in her new memoir, revealing after a long silence that not only did she lose her husband after her 14-year marriage came to an end, but she also lost her singing voice.
After years of stifling her emotions, Twain's inability to express her feelings had finally caught up with her and affected her ability to sing with the volume required in a live concert.
"I'm going to have to go through some very serious physiotherapy and recovery to be able to sing again," Twain told Canada AM co-hosts Beverly Thomson and Seamus O'Regan today.
But the loss forced Twain to look at her life and ask, "What do you have to do to fix this?"
That journey of physical and emotional healing is at the heart of Twain's candid new memoir, "From This Moment On."
It has been three years since Twain, 45, ended her marriage to Robert (Mutt) Lange, 62.
The split came after Twain learned that Lange had fallen for her best friend and close confidante, Marie-Anne Thiebaud.
Twain was devastated by the betrayal. But after some reflection, Twain decided that her story could help other people going through similar tragedy.
"It wasn't difficult to write this book. It was difficult to share it with the public," said Twain.
"I'm sure I'm not the only one in the world who has gone through the things I've gone through. I know I'm not alone," she said.
"If anyone is going to benefit from…everything that I've gone through, then I've got to give them testimony. There's no shame in that. I wanted them to know that."
Twain's pain nearly crushed her
In one passage recounting her breakup, Twain writes how she was "freezing cold all the time" and would take five hot baths a day just to warm up. Even then, Twain would "wear a winter coat" over her pajamas.
After she learned of the affair, Twain recounts how she felt chilled to the bone yet she was dripping in sweat for one long, dark, week. She writes that she was "forcing the pain out of my pores so I wouldn't drown in it."
Twain also included a pleading letter written to Thiebaud. In it, Twain begged her "friend" to give her husband back.
"Find love from someone else, somewhere else. ... All of us have to suffer for the two of you. It just isn't right," Twain wrote.
Twain had suspected Lange's infidelity. She confided her suspicions to Thiebaud, not knowing that she was "the other woman."
Not surprisingly, Thiebaud told Twain that her suspicions were groundless.
The lies and betrayals nearly crushed Twain. But the singer also used this memoir as an opportunity to revisit old hurts from her childhood.
Twain grew up in Timmins, Ont., in a household rife with financial difficulties and arguments.
Twain's mother battled depression. She pushed her daughter towards a singing career.
Even when the family could not afford gas money, Twain's mother defied her husband and spent what little they had to get their daughter to gigs.
"In the more desperate times she pushed me because she needed it more than I did," said Twain.
"I love music…Would I have made it my career if I had had a choice about it at a very young age? I don't think so," she said.
Twain and her parents were all left with conflicting feelings about the singer's career. Yet Twain has no regrets.
She also has a new perspective on life, which Twain wanted to share with fans and her 9-year-old son, Eja.
"The main reason I documented my life story was so that my son could have a true account of my life from me," said Twain.
"I would recommend it to anyone anyway in case you were to die prematurely...and leave your children before they were able to really know you," she said.
Twain's story does have a happy ending.
In an ironic twist of fate, Twain married Thiebaud's ex-husband, Frederic, on January 1, 2011 in Puerto Rico.
Twain never expected to find love again. Working her way through divorce made Twain more open to such happiness.
Twain also has a new documentary show called "Why Not?" on Oprah Winfrey's OWN network. The series covers the entirety of Twain's life, all the way back to her impoverished childhood.
"It was scary to do," said Twain.
"I took myself out of my comfort zone filming the series."
But that daring became Twain's secret to overcoming tragedy.
"You have to work through it," said Twain.
"It's a grieving process. You get angry. You get sad. You get desperate. You go through all these really terrible things. You have to let them all out…If I hadn't I think it would have killed me, honestly. I would have died of a broken heart."
