OTTAWA – Members of Parliament swapped partisan barbs in an exchange of spirited holiday poems in the House of Commons just before question period Wednesday.

Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner delivered his annual Canadian politics rendition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas," after MPs heard from two Conservatives offering their own holiday rhymes.

Conservative MP Kerry Diotte kicked things off, singing a Tory rendition of "Jingle Bells."

Diotte's song included jabs at the Liberal’s cash for access fundraisers, and problematic procurement plans. His song also included the line: "Jingle bells, something smells, deficits run away. How sad it is to ruin the middle class today."

Not to be outdone, fellow Conservative MP Mark Strahl stood up and offered his own Christmas poem.

Strahl took aim at the Liberal’s small business tax changes, and other controversies that surrounded Finance Minister Bill Morneau in 2017.

"And they sometimes forget because it’s easy to do, when you're counting your villas, is it one? Three? Or two?" said Strahl.

He also spent time reciting some of Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s qualities.

"And the best part of all he keeps his shirt on," said Strahl, to loud cheers and clapping from his colleagues.

The pre-question period poetry ended Cuzner's holiday message in which he made fun of his political opponents, as well as his own party.

"The new Tory leader picked a political spat, but it's hard to take him serious with dimples like that. But even those dimples can’t hide the shock of what happened Monday evening, in South Surrey-White Rock,” said Cuzner, speaking about the Liberal win of a previously Conservative seat in this week’s federal byelection.

It was then on to NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh, where Cuzner razzed him over his lack of a seat in the House of Commons.

"The Dippers believe their saviour's been sent, he bumped up their polling to 16 per cent. To the new leader, here's a challenge to beat: It would be sweet to compete for Jagmeet for a seat."

Cuzner also used the poem to comment on the government's political troubles over the tax changes, and his electoral predictions for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

"While opposition parties were sitting back and relaxing, we were doing the hard work which some say was quite taxing," he said, before ending: "There's the far left, the alt right, and the smart in-between, I still bet on our boy in 2019."

 

Full Transcripts of the MPs remarks:

Kerry Diotte (Edmonton Griesbach, CPC):

Mr. Speaker, I have a little Christmas song to sing, even though I am losing my voice:

Pipelines to the east,

Not happening today

$10 million dollar cheques,

Our veterans have to pay.

Small businesses are hit,

More tax Grits spend away

Oh what pain it is,

To sing this Liberal song today.

Hey....

Jingle bells,

Something smells

Deficits run away

How sad it is to ruin

The middle class today.

Hey!

Jingle bells,

Cash for Access sells,

Your wallet paves the way

You can have a minister

If only you can pay.

Hey

Aussies sell us jets,

They can't give away

And let's not forget

Phoenix doesn't pay.

Hey.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Tories will save the day,

Oh what fun...

It sure will be...

Seeing Liberals go away.

* * *

Mark Strahl (Chilliwack—Hope, CPC):

Mr. Speaker,

'Twas 12 days before Christmas, almost time to head home

But first we'll endure that Cape Bretoner's poem

But before he gets up and makes fun of us Tories

We get to stand up and tell our Christmas story.

The Liberals have had quite a fall, it's been swell

To see all their plans go to Morneau-Shep-Hell.

They went after our farmers and small business owners

While protecting their ass-ets, and their wealthy friend donors

And they sometimes forget, 'cause it's easy to do

When you're counting your villas - is it 1, 3, or 2?

There've been some big changes for us around here.

We have a new leader, and fur us it is clear

That he's younger, and taller, more virile and sharper

Than the current PM, and he smiles more than Harper.

He works hard for our party, starts each day before dawn

And the best part of all is he keeps his shirt on

He has no Mercedes, no fortune, no nannies

But he's such a nice man, he connects with the grannies.

Yes, in 2019 it will be quite a fight.

But till then, Merry Christmas, and to all, a safe flight.

* * *

Rodger Cuzner (Cape Breton—Canso, Lib.):

'Twas the week before Christmas and not much was new;

But I'll just take a moment to offer my view.

The new Tory leader picked a political spat;

But it's hard to take him serious with dimples like that;

But even those dimples cannot hide the shock;

Of what happened Monday evening in South Surrey—White Rock.

The Dippers believe their Saviour's been sent;

He's bumped up their polling to 16%.

To the new leader, here's a challenge to meet;

It would be sweet to compete with Jagmeet for a seat.

The Bloc were once strong, but find themselves in a quandary;

Break up the country? They couldn't separate their own laundry.

While opposition parties were sitting back and relaxing;

We were doing the hard work, which some say was quite taxing.

Housing and poverty, so much progress has been made;

Take, for example, international trade.

'Cuz as much as we love trade with North Carolina;

Opportunities abound in places like China.

And if the current view of NAFTA is forced to be dealt;

I'll hang mistletoe off the back of my belt.

There's the far left, the alt right, and the smart in between;

I'd still bet on our boy in 2019!