Hugh Jackman: Wish you were here!
Oscar producers Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic promised Academy Award viewers a fast-paced Hollywood extravaganza full of unusual gems.
Some viewers may still be looking for them now that this granddaddy of all awards shows is movie history.
Despite considerable pre-show hype about snappy formats and whittled-down montage segments, Shankman and Mechanic opted, instead, for a slow, steady, throwback to classic Hollywood showmanship of days gone by.
With few surprises in the three-and-a-half-hour show, the 2010 telecast delivered predictable wins.
They included victories for Jeff Bridges for best actor, Sandra Bullock for best actress, Christoph Waltz for best supporting actor and Mo'Nique for best supporting actress.
Kathryn Bigelow also made a historic appearance in this year's winner's circle as the first female recipient of a best director Oscar.
Yet, tasteful predictability did not completely crush the element of surprise or funny, heartfelt moments throughout the show. Nothing compared to seeing Bigelow stun the room as she snagged 2010's best picture victory away from "Avatar" and her ex-husband, director James Cameron.
Tom Hanks' odd, anti-climactic delivery of the announcement came so quickly, if TV viewer's blinked they would have missed it.
Still, the moment was a shocker for critics and, no doubt, for Cameron himself.
Bullock's straight-shooting "thank you" speech also took audiences aback with its frankness.
"Did I really earn this, or did I just wear all you down?" Bullock asked, before she thanked her fellow nominees and jokingly called Meryl Streep "a good kisser."
The show also began on a surprisingly fresh note as each nominee for best actor and best actress walked onto the stage of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood for one big rousing round of applause.
The move was well-played by Shankman and Mechanic.
It was also a thoughtful, appreciative nod to these artists who piqued our interest in this year's Oscar race.
Martin and Baldwin scored
Borrowing from the fanfare of old MGM musicals, co-hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin descended onto the stage within a silver circus globe and strutted past a sea of showgirls waving feathered fans.
Their "frenemie" jabs were directed at everyone in the room, including themselves.
"There's that damn Helen Mirren," Martin pointed out to Baldwin.
"It's not ‘damn.' That's Dame Helen Mirren," Baldwin scolded.
The duo's funniest moments came in a send-up of the horror hit "Paranormal Activity" and today's popular Snuggie commercials.
The night's most emotional moment belonged to "Precious" screenwriter Geoffrey Fletcher. The winner for best screenplay, Fletcher fought back the tears, saying, "This is for people who work on a dream every day -- all the precious boys and girls out there."
Despite these memorable glimmers TV viewing, the 82nd Oscars were more about hitting a pop fly than a home run.
Certainly the show faced huge challenges.
Last year's ceremony hosted by Hugh Jackman did stop a steady slide in viewership. That Broadway-ish Oscarcast drew an estimated 36.3 million viewers, up 4.3 million from 2008's record-low show hosted by Jon Stewart.
The pressure was on Shankman and Mechanic to improve upon those figures and avoid a repeat performance of 2008's Jon Stewart-hosted event -- the lowest-rated Oscar telecast in the Academy's history.
In the end, perhaps the best way to describe 2010's Oscars is like a rebound relationship.
This year's ceremony may never see the ratings pulled in by the 1998 Academy Awards. That telecast scored 57.25 million viewers.
The 2010 Academy Awards also lacked the fresh, vibrant sparkle of 2009's "Jackman" Oscars.
Shankman and Mechanic delivered an in-between sort of showing that was more staid than sensational.
They clearly had the love going in their hearts for all things Oscar. Maybe next year, should Shankman and Mechanic return, they'll break through formulas and do it right.
