Former child star Todd Bridges admits it was difficult to write about the drug addictions, physical and sexual abuse he suffered even as he was starring in the hit TV sitcom Diff'rent Strokes in the 1970s.
But Bridges says he wanted to air his troubled past in his autobiography "Killing Willis," to help others who may be going through what he did.
"Even though I've gotten past it, it still brings up a lot of unconscionable memories. It really gets to you," Bridges told CTV's Canada AM on Monday. "It is tough to write about it and talking about it does bring up issues. Even though I've gotten past it, I don't think it's something that's ever going to go away."
"That's why it's so important that we watch the people around our children to make sure they don't hurt them in that way, because this is something they could end up carrying with them for the rest of their lives."
Bridges, who played the beloved character Willis on the show, writes with often brutal candour about his drug addiction, childhood abuse and off-screen romance with late co-star Dana Plato.
In the autobiography, Bridges alleges he was physically abused at the hands of his father and later sexually abused by his male publicist, claiming the man performed oral sex on him when he was 12 years old.
When he told his father about the abuse, he accused him of lying about the incident.
"It's kind of sad to know that a grown man would take advantage of a child," Bridges writes. "But what made it more tough was that your father took the guy's side. That kind of broke me at 12 years old. I was really lost after that."
Bridges claims Plato -- who died from a prescription drug overdose in 1999 -- introduced him to drugs, which led to his long battle with cocaine and crystal meth addiction.
"I would say my lowest point was when I was strapped down in … restraints with my arms and legs strapped down and I had a diaper on," he told Canada AM. "That was probably my lowest point, when I realized that a change had to come."
The actor says he has been sober for 17 years and credits his faith in God with getting him through his lowest point.
"God helped me to see that there's a much better way and that through my experiences I can help teach people to find a way out," he says. "I know what it's like to be rich, I know what it's like to be poor; I know what it's like to be middle class and I know what it's like to be locked up."
But he refuses to blame his difficulties, including dealing drugs and being charged with attempted murder in the shooting of a rival dealer, on the entertainment industry.
"It's a very small percentage of child actors who have problems with drugs and alcohol," Bridges says. "What I always tell people is that for every one you name who've had problems, I'll name you 10 that haven't."
"I think it's the media that perpetuates this stereotype … which isn't true and it isn't right."
But he acknowledges that his friend and former co-star Gary Coleman is still bitter about his experiences as a child star.
"Gary doesn't want to have a relationship with anybody who had anything to do with Diff'rent Strokes," Bridges said. "He's very angry still at the whole thought of it and I don't blame him. Because he used to be really, really ill on the set and his parents forced him to work."
"They were making him just a money pit. Then he woke up at the end of the day and he had no money left: they stole everything. It's a tough situation for him."
