Surveys have shown finances are the top stressor for Canadians, and can impact our health and happiness. Physician and author Dr. Samra Zafar joined CTV Your Morning Edmonton’s Kim Wynn to discuss the emotional cost of high prices. This transcript has been edited for length and clarity. Kim Wynn: Why does money stress hit so deep? Dr. Samra Zafar: When you think about money, money isn’t just math. It’s about our safety, it’s about our identity, it’s about our control. We tie a lot of our self-worth to how much we make and how successful we are. Then when things aren’t the same as they used to be, basics like housing, groceries and child care feel uncertain, our brain automatically shifts into threat mode. What that does is it activates the same parts of our brain as physical danger. We go into these fight, flight, freeze responses. That doesn’t mean people are being dramatic, that’s just a very natural human response because financial stress actually activates our most primitive fear responses. Especially if you’ve also lived with financial stress in the past, like myself. I’ve lived in poverty, I’ve had some adversity in the past, so it becomes much bigger than it otherwise would be. Some of those signs can be if you’re experiencing constant anxiety, like little decisions that you would normally make easily about finances are seeming so insurmountable. If you’re being more irritable, if you’re not sleeping, if you’re tossing and turning in bed worrying about money, if you feel like you’re falling behind, you’re always comparing yourself to others, those are some really important signs to watch out for. Kim: What are some of the hidden emotional costs of high prices? Dr. Zafar: The hidden emotional costs would be if you’re feeling less than you are, like you’re feeling less than you normally would about yourself. People often internalize money stress as a character flaw. “I am not good enough. I am not successful enough. What do I have left?” We’re seeing this so much right now in psychiatry. In my clinical practice, a lot of people are coming in with low self-worth because they’re not as financially successful as they once were. It triggers a lot of shame and self blame. “I should be managing better. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough.” Then there’s comparison stress. You go on social media and you look at everyone’s perfect life, and you feel even more inadequate. Each decision feels loaded and exhausting. “Should I order this dinner from Uber Eats?” which you never used to think about before, or even irritability and withdrawal. You isolate yourself because you don’t feel like you can sit among your peers the way you used to because you’re not feeling confident enough in yourself. A lot of these distressing thoughts you can actually reframe. You have the capacity to try to remind yourself that these are systemic stressors. Everyone right now is going through these stresses. It’s not a personal flaw. And oftentimes, those ‘whatever choices’ we made which may have led us here, like I bought a house in 2022 and I often find myself kicking myself for it, but those are simply the best choices we could have made with that information that we had at that time. It’s not a character flaw, it’s what’s going on around us. Kim: What message do you have for people who may be feeling exactly what you’re talking about all of those stressors? Dr. Zafar: First of all, name the stress. Oftentimes we say things like, “I am weak. I am not good enough.” Shift the “I am” to “I feel.” “I feel weak, I feel sad, I feel stressed” and it helps us remove the identity association that we tie in with our feelings. We are not our feelings. Our feelings are what they are. We can be strong and still feel weak. This is a tough economy. Instead of “I am bad with money,” shrink the time horizon by focusing on the next week or the next month, not the next ten years. We don’t know what’s going to happen even a year from now, even six months from now. Talking about it. Even though we might feel some of that internalized shame, we can lean into friends. We can go to therapists. We can talk to people who are most likely feeling the same feelings that we’re feeling so it helps reduce isolation. And small things like leaning into glimmers and joys. Sleep, movement, routine, they matter more than we think they do. Stability isn’t perfection, it’s simply self compassion and predictability. Talk to your financial advisor, talk to your therapist, talk to your doctor. If money feels heavy right now, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You’re simply responding to real pressure. Encouraging kindness towards ourselves and other people goes a very long way.
