‘Grief is messy’: Calgary woman to run 100 kilometres with mother’s ashes

Marcella Sangregorio says she will run 100 kilometres with her mother’s ashes—from northwest Calgary to Ghost Lake and back. (Courtesy Marcella Sangregorio)

Marcella Sangregorio was just one year old when her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.

Now 23, Marcella says she will run 100 kilometres with her mother’s ashes—from northwest Calgary to Ghost Lake and back.

“As a way to remain connected with her and to try to give her hope, I used to tell her, ‘I’m going to take you on a girls trip, just me and you—we’re going to get out of Calgary for a day, and I’ll take you on a drive to Ghost Lake,’” she said.

On March 28, the second anniversary of her mother’s passing, Marcella will run toward keeping that promise.

“I promised I would take her there and that never ended up happening, so now I’m fulfilling my promise,” she said.

Her mother, Lisa Sangregorio, was diagnosed in 2003 with grade 3 Astrocytoma, a malignant brain tumour behind her left eye, and was given two to five years to live.

“My mom was such a fighter,” Marcella said. “She miraculously survived until I was 21.”

For much of her life, illness was a constant presence for Marcella.

“Her cancer was so consistent in my life since I was a child that I grew numb to it,” she said.

Still, she says people often do not know how to speak to someone who is grieving.

“If I could tell people one thing on how to speak to a grieving person, it is to ask about the person who has passed away,” she said.

Marcella wants people to remember that those who die of illness should not be reduced to their diagnosis.

“My mother was not cancer,” she said.

“My mom was this incredibly strong, resilient person who just would not quit, and she had a sense of humour through all of it.”

Who was Lisa Sangregorio?

Born in Windsor, Ont., Lisa later built her life in Alberta, where she studied at the University of Calgary, ran track and became a social worker—a path Marcella says she is now following herself.

“She was so simple,” she said. “She loved a French vanilla from Tim Hortons, and that would make her week.”

Marcella says her mother loved music and leaned on it to get her through her treatments and the brutality of cancer.

“The purpose of my run being titled ‘Still Alive’ is based on the song by Pearl Jam,” she said.

Marcella says her mother was also cremated in her Pearl Jam t-shirt.

Marcella’s father, Mike Sangregorio, says what he remembers most is how hard Lisa fought to protect ordinary family life.

Even through years of hospital visits, seizures, treatment and decline, she still loved the small routines: taking the girls to school, picking them up and going camping as a family.

“We lived our lives as normal as possible,” he said.

As time went on, Mike says his family knew what they were up against and could not ignore it anymore.

“Our family knew in the back of our minds that the prognosis was grim,” he said.

For years, he says, many people would not have known how much Lisa was carrying.

“She looked and functioned like a normal person,” he said.

Lisa passed on March 28, 2024, in a hospital surrounded by her loved ones.

“I wish I told her I loved her more,” Mike said.

Running with grief

Marcella says this run is a way for her to express the pain and anger she feels about her mother’s passing and to show the perseverance she had when battling cancer.

“We were informed her cancer was growing three years before she passed, and the decline in her health was just very steep,” she said.

“She went from kissing me goodbye at the door whenever I left the house to needing a wheelchair and needing help lifting her head up. It was really disheartening.”

Marcella says she remembers watching her mother lose abilities that once felt ordinary.

“We would have to pick her up on both sides and walk her out to the car,” she said.

“One wrong turn could just go horribly for her, and I was always scared for her health.”

For Mike, the run is difficult to imagine, but he understands why his daughter is compelled to do it.

“She’s running with her ashes, and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, you’re crazy,’ but she needs this to be able to grieve and for closure,” he said.

Mike says he is looking forward to supporting his daughter’s run and helping her fulfill the unkept promise.

A connection once lost

For Marcella, the run is not about loss but connection.

“It never goes away, and it does not get easier,” she said.

Marcella says running helps her to honour her mother’s memory.

“I am my mom,” she said. “I share blood with my mom, and this is her running and her strength to get me through those 100 kilometres.”

Marcella is no stranger to long distances.

In November, she completed her first ultra, a 90-kilometre race called The Dark 24 with Sinister Sports, where she ran for roughly 21 hours in a mine shaft.

“I have been doing a lot of training with weights inside of my backpack,” she said.

“I have the equivalent of the weight of the urn.”

Marcella has also used running to raise money in her mother’s memory before.

So far, she has raised about $3,000 for Janis Care Services and another $3,000 for the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada.

Marcella says right now her focus is on continuing to raise money for Janis Care Services through an online fundraiser.

“I really want them to take the focus right now,” she said.

“They provided exceptional end-of-life care for my mom, and their staff is considered family.”

Marcella says she does not have a specific fundraising target.

“The more the merrier,” she said. “They deserve recognition and appreciation.”

Marcella says the 100-kilometre run is her way of carrying the grief out loud.

“Grief does not need to be silent,” she said.

“Grief is angry, grief is messy and grief deserves to be heard in any form that people are comfortable to express that in.”

For more details on the run, go here.