Two Ottawa women have set a precedent by becoming legally recognized co-mothers of a boy, even though they are not in a romantic relationship.
Lynda Collins was granted what’s known as a declaration of parentage after years of co-parenting seven-year-old Elaan, the biological son of her good friend Natasha Bakht.
Because Collins and Bakht are friends and colleagues, not romantic partners, Collins couldn’t formally adopt Elaan. But the two women were able to convince a judge that it was in Elaan’s best interest to give Collins the same legal parental rights as Bakht.
“Lynda was involved from day one and her role was sort of ever-expanding,” Bakht, a law professor at the University of Ottawa, told CTV News Channel on Tuesday. “Elaan really relates to Lynda…like in a child-parent relationship.”
When Bakht decided to have a child on her own, using a sperm donor, Collins, who also teaches law at the University of Ottawa, volunteered to be her birth coach. Complications during birth left Elaan with severe disabilities that include mobility and cognitive issues. Collins was there every step of the way, helping Bakht adjust to her new life and raise the boy.
As soon as Elaan was born, “I really just kind of fell in love (with him),” Collins told CTV News Channel.
“He’s an amazing person. Basically, everyone who meets him falls in love with him.”
As Collins became more and more involved in the boy’s life, “I took on a parental role and we just eventually decided that we wanted to legalize that.”
The declaration of parentage means that Collins can make medical and legal decisions about Elaan’s care, just as Bakht can.
Bakht said, formalizing Collins’ role in her life “was important for a number of reasons.”
As a single parent, Bakht said she always worried about Elaan’s fate if something were to happen to her.
“And when you have a child with disabilities, that’s a fear that is very prominent,” she said. “And I was just thrilled that Lynda was willing to be the other parent, be there in case something happened to me.”
About five years ago, Collins sold her house and moved into a condo directly above Bakht’s.
“We live a pretty average family life, other than sleeping time,” Collins said. She sleeps in her own apartment, but the family spends their evenings, weekends and holidays together.
“We didn’t plan it that way, but it happened organically.”
