Doing this for 20 seconds a day can relieve stress and anxiety

Self-compassionate touch, which can be practised anywhere, can include stroking the upper arms like a hug. (Milko/E+/Getty Images via CNN Newsource)

A devoted meditator, Eli Susman wanted to deepen his practice, and his meditation journey took him across the world. He spent a month at Plum Village, a mindfulness practice centrein southern France run by Buddhist monks focused on honing the art of mindful living.

Susman expected to spend most of the retreat in hours-long meditation sessions, but to his surprise, he found the schedule only allotted 30 minutes of formal meditation practice.

Used to much longer meditation sessions, Susman began to shift his mindset after later speaking with one of the monks. Instead of three hours of meditating, the monk advised him that three breaths were all it took to tune in to the present moment.

“This struck me,” Susman told CNN. “What if three breaths or about 20 seconds is really enough to make a difference in people’s lives?”

Susman, now a doctoral candidate in psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, tested his theory in a study published in April in the journal Behaviour Research and Therapy. He sought to find out whether a quick moment of self-compassionate touch — soothing yourself through physical contact — could induce similar mental health benefits as meditation, which usually requires more time and commitment.

The study showed a single 20-second session of self-compassionate touch significantly reduced stress, increased kindness to the participant and improved mental well-being. The effects on mental health were greater among people who performed this micropractice daily than those who did not practice as often.

“In this touch-deprived society, we can offer ourselves the same kindness and compassion we so freely give to others,” Susman said. “It’s right at our fingertips.”

This study builds on a 2021 study by German researchers that showed 20 seconds of self-compassionate touch lowered cortisol levels after people underwent a stress-inducing task.

Brief daily touches improved people’s well-being

The latest study measured how college students — often busy juggling school, work and extracurricular activities — felt about themselves in the current moment. The study participants were randomly assigned to watch a video about how to perform self-compassionate touch or finger-tapping. Finger-tapping involved bringing the index finger and thumb together to touch, which served as the control group. College students did one of the two practices for 20 seconds a day for one month and were then asked to rate their emotional well-being.

College students reported a difference in self-compassion immediately after the first 20-second self-compassionate session. After one month of daily practice, college students reported higher levels of self-compassion, less stress and better mental health than those in the finger-tapping group.

“It’s an interesting but not surprising study,” said Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychology director of Comprehend the Mind in New York City who was not involved in the study.

“Performing this short-lived, self-compassionate touch daily was highly effective, almost as if you were seeing a therapist long term.”

Susman’s findings answer an important question of how much self-compassion training is needed to reap the benefits, especially since people often tend to quit mindfulness interventions because of the lengthy time commitments, according to Dr. Susan Evans, a professor of psychology in clinical psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City who was not affiliated with the research.

“Studies like Susman’s have real-world, practical value and move the field towards a better understanding of how to help people acquire skills to improve their well-being,” Evans said.

However, Hafeez noted that while self-compassionate touch showed similar mental health benefits to long-term therapy, it is not a complete substitute for it — especially among those with diagnosed mental health conditions. Instead, she advised people to think of self-compassionate touch as an added tool for their mental health toolbox.

“It’s a quick fix for restructuring your way of thinking, but changing maladaptive behavioursand thought patterns takes a lot more time and work.”

How to practice self-compassionate touch

The benefit of self-compassionate touch is that it can be practiced anywhere, whether at home or on a crowded train, Susman said. First, close your mind and think about a recent mistake or moment that made you feel unworthy or a failure. When these moments are remembered, notice any changes in your body.

Second, find a place to touch your body that is comfortable for you. In the study, people had a hand over their heart and one over their belly, but they were also encouraged to use any other form of touch if it felt more comfortable to them. Doing so can include stroking the back of the neck, using the thumb to massage a spot on the palm or stroking the upper arms like a hug. Susman advised focusing on the sensation and warmth of the touch.

Third, people should ask themselves, “How can I be a friend to myself at this moment?” focusing on forgiving and accepting their imperfections. After 20 seconds, people can open their eyes or repeat the session as often as needed.

The study results showed the more people make self-compassionate touch a habit, the greater the mental health benefits. Susman suggested setting a cue, such as after brushing your teeth, as a reminder to perform the micropractice.

“It’s not about being better than anyone or pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows,” Susman said. “It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer a close friend.”

So if you’re having a bad day, give yourself permission to be your best friend — even if it’s just for 20 seconds.

Jocelyn Solis-Moreira is a freelance health and science journalist based in New York.

Editor's note: If you or anyone you know is struggling with mental health, there are a number of ways to get help, including by calling or texting the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 9-8-8. A list of local crisis centres is also available here.