‘Classic breakup cycle’: Relationship experts weigh in on Jays-Ohtani saga

Los Angeles Dodgers' Shohei Ohtani rounds the bases after hitting a two run home run against the Toronto Blue Jays during the seventh inning in Game 1 of baseball's World Series, Friday, Oct. 24, 2025, in Toronto. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

TORONTO — He didn’t return their advances. He decided to say yes to the rich Los Angeles suitor. Now they want their stuff back, and they want him to know -- loudly, and in front of a lot of people -- they’re fine without him.

It’s not your friend and their ex -- or their unrequited love. It’s the Toronto Blue Jays and L.A. Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani.

“I’m seeing a bitter breakup. And I would say there’s some unresolved feelings that need to be dealt with,” said Toronto breakup coach Natalia Juarez.

It’s been almost two years since the Jays tried and failed to court Ohtani, only to watch him sign with the Dodgers. Now, the Jays-Dodgers World Series matchup has offered some lighthearted signs that the fandom’s heart has not completely mended, relationship experts say.

Perhaps most tellingly, those experts say, are the chants of “we don’t need you,” which Ohtani has been greeted with by Jays fans.

“I think it’s a way to save face,” said Heather Thom, a Vancouver counsellor who specializes in the “breakup recovery process.”

“We try to rationalize what has happened ... and also minimize some of that hurt as well.”

At Tuesday night’s watch party at the Rogers Centre, thousands of kilometres outside Ohtani’s earshot, some Jays fans were willing to acknowledge the rejection still stings.

“There’s always going to hurt feelings every time you miss out on a superstar,” said Jays fan Kyle Warren.

Sports fandom is a type of relationship, said Juarez, the Toronto breakup coach. And even if Ohtani never committed to the Jays, some fans still had a “heart investment” that can register rejection as a “breakup,” she said.

“And the Jays are going through a classic breakup cycle.”

The Jays-Ohtani entanglement dates back to late 2023. Ohtani, whose almost-superhuman combination of hitting and pitching prowess made him arguably the most eligible baseball bachelor in the history of the sport, was looking to commit long term with a new team.

The team was reported to be among the front-runners for Ohtani, and wild speculation ensued. Private planes rumoured to be flying Ohtani to Toronto were tracked, catering orders from restaurants near the Rogers Centre were scrutinized, and, for a brief moment, the team and its fan base allowed themselves to believe this courtship could end in a baseball betrothal.

Then came the sting of rejection. Ohtani opted instead to sign with the Dodgers on a 10-year, US$700-million deal.

Lesson learned, says Toronto counsellor Joanna Seidel.

“When you’re in a relationship, you really should have balanced and somewhat equitable feelings about each other. And your future should be planned jointly before even anticipating it,” said Seidel, the founder and clinical director of Toronto Family Therapy and Mediation.

Now, the Blue Jays fandom finds itself at baseball’s biggest dance, and across the floor is none other than Ohtani and his Dodgers.

In what Seidel called “very typical” breakup behaviour, Jays’ manager John Schneider asked Ohtani to return the hat and the jacket for his dog, Decoy, which the organization gifted the superstar during the courtship phase. “It’s like, ‘Give us our stuff back already,’” Schneider joked in a press conference ahead of the series.

Even mutual friends appear torn. Michael Bublé insists he’s a Jays fan but says he’s “conflicted” because Ohtani uses his rendition of “Feeling Good” as a walk-up song, the Canadian singer said in a recent interview on The Stephen A. Smith Show.

Then, there’s the “we don’t need you” chants.

“I mean, it was not a good look,” said Juarez, the breakup coach.

A broken heart, she said, “needs to be validated,” and it needs to be “dealt with in a healthy way.”

“The heartbreak will dissipate over time, but if it’s like a bone, if it’s not set properly, we continue to see the effects two years later -- you know, like chirping Ohtani,” she said.

The “core engine” of sports fandom is both “deeply romantic and incredibly undignified,” the celebrated writer Hanif Abdurraqib wrote in a recent social media post. “The core emotional dilemma of sports fandom” is having your heartbroken repeatedly yet still choosing to open it up again because “maybe along the path,” you’ll experience “something massively thrilling and illuminating,” he wrote.

Ohtani’s rejection may still sting, but the Jays faithful have found themselves on perhaps the most thrilling and illuminating path the fandom has experienced in more than three decades.

Focusing on the “amazing” Jays team that brought them on that path is Seidel’s advice for any fan still hung up on Ohtani, the Toronto therapist said.

Fandom, she said, can be like group therapy. It’s a healthy place for people to redirect some of their true heartbreak or other difficult emotions.

It can also bring people together. Seidel, who specializes in separation and divorce, says she’s seen people use the Blue Jays’ playoff run as a way to reconnect with loved ones.

At the Rogers Centre on Tuesday night, 12-year-old Taylor Allan said watching the Jays had brought her closer to her parents and her 84-year-old grandmother, a lifelong fan.

“I’ve started to hang out with my mom and dad more to watch the games,” said Allan, sporting a Jays shirt, scarf and face stickers on the stadium concourse.

“It’s really fun to think about that because I have someone to talk to about it, and I’m not the only one cheering for this team in my family.”

When asked about Ohtani, Allan’s mother had to jog her memory about the 2023 free agency saga.

At the time, “I wasn’t really a huge fan, so it didn’t mean too much to me at the time,” the preteen said.

“But now it would mean something to me.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Oct. 28, 2025.

Jordan Omstead, The Canadian Press