The best magic you never see coming.
That would be a more accurate tagline to what Jerry Bruckheimer was trying to conjure with "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."
Disney's latest flick about an ancient sorcerer (Nicolas Cage) and his goofball protégé (Canada's Jay Baruchel) is big, loud and action-packed.
It also pulls out every predictable abracadabra to brew up a would-be summer blockbuster.
Good magicians battle evil tricksters. Thunderbolts fly from wizardly fingers to save the day.
Toss in a little romance and loads of special-effects, and this tale inspired by Mickey Mouse's "Sorcerer's Apprentice" segment in "Fantasia" has everything it takes to charm audiences on paper.
Yet the magic show's slow in "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."
It's hard to believe, especially when Jerry Bruckheimer, Hollywood's master franchise builder, is the film's producer.
Bruckheimer's the brand man. The guy that put the "Pow!" into "Pirates of the Caribbean" and the nerdy cool into "National Treasure."
"The Sorcerer's Apprentice" should have bewitched us in mind-blowing ways. But fantasy gives way to formula here. No amount of Bruckheimer hocus pocus can change that.
Nicolas Cage loses that magic mojo
A war-torn backstory from the days of King Arthur sets the stage for this fantasy-adventure.
Merlin, Camelot's great court wizard (James A. Stephens), is destroyed by the evil sorceress Morgana Le Fay (Alice Krige).
Merlin's trusty champion, Balthazar Blake (Cage) battles Le Fay's forces but it costs him dearly.
His great love Veronica (Monica Bellucci) is lost. He's betrayed by his wizard pal, Maxim Horvath (played with sly delight by Alfred Molina).
Yet Blake fights on. He traps all the villains in a large Russian nesting doll. Then the wild-eyed magician travels through time searching for the Prime Merlinean, the one person who can succeed Merlin and save mankind from Le Fay.
Blake's prayers are answered when he meets Dave Stutler (Baruchel), a New York physics student.
He's weak. He's reclusive. He's gangly and timid. Not exactly star sorcerer material.
Yet somewhere between all the magical duels and bad-guy chases this dweeb learns an important lesson: magic is like science. If you understand it and believe in yourself, anything is possible.
That worthy message should fly with families and tweens.
The science twist and countless special effects they spawn should also amuse them.
Lightening bolts crackle through the air inside Dave's subterranean laboratory.
Outside, lowly cabs morph into wicked sports cars, stone gargoyles soar through the air, and paper dragons scale skyscrapers with deadly menace.
What more could a tweenster want?
Unlike stiff, predictable Cage, Baruchel's off-kilter performance is impressive, as is the fiendish devilry from British actor Toby Kebbell.
Cast as the foppish illusionist Drake Stone, Kebbell digs in with his high heels and highlighted hair and serves up a hilarious turn as a punked-out David Copperfield.
"Sorcerer's" electric guitar redo of "Fantasia's" enchanted broom sequence is also a hoot.
But "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" can't sustain its magic mojo.
Bruckheimer and company may believe they've conjured up a supernatural classic. But we're never wowed with wonder here. We never really care about Blake, Dave or the other beings that slide in and out of this paint-by-numbers pic.
"The Sorcerer's Apprentice" is entertaining enough with its souped-up tricks. But it also puts the slight into sleight of hand.
Two and a half stars out of four.
