Some offers are just too good to be true.
That's especially so in storybooks. And it's doubly true when the offer comes from an oily-grinned, curly-toed shrimp that looks like Hugh Laurie with a wig fetish.
So begins the life-altering adventures of the ogre-in-midlife-crisis in "Shrek Forever After," the fourth animated flick based on William Steig's 1990 children's book.
Better than "Shrek the Third" yet lean on the humour and originality that made 2001's franchise start so great, this "make-a-wish" tale à la "It's a Wonderful Life" goes terribly wrong for Shrek and the gang.
That it does for all the right reasons.
Worn down by his "happily ever after" marriage and fatherhood, life in "The Swamp" isn't what it used to be for this ex-fiend of the forest.
Once this fearsome ogre scared the crap out of locals just by passing gas.
Now Shrek changes diapers. He empties the trash. Even tour-bus visitors wave kisses his way when he's in the outhouse.
Dulled by such domestic bliss, this restless hero breaks out of this "Brady Bunch" hell to reconnect with his inner monster.
But like any good fairy tale with an everlasting message, be careful what you wish for is the moral to this story.
Greener and meaner
Like Jimmy Stewart's downtrodden family man, George Bailey, Shrek pays a terrible price to have his wish granted by the evil Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn).
He learns the hard way to appreciate the life he throws aside.
This revelation comes with all the 3-D tricks that sell Shrek's story without overpowering it. Carriage whips snap in our eyes. Horses race as though they're going to fly off the screen. Awesome!
The brilliant, free-flowing puns of the original are missing, a fact that leaves fans wondering if this green beast's saga has finally reached its expiration date.
But "Shrek Forever After" still has laughs.
Donkey (Eddie Murphy) begs to have his hooves and head delivered to his momma after Shrek's done eating him.
Puss (Antonio Banderas) steals the show as the retired caballero who is so lardy he can barely roll off the pillow he lounges on all day.
If this is Shrek's farewell, the gang says goodbye in style. The connoisseurs sitting next to me at a preview certainly bought it.
"Puss is a cat-astrophe," beams one 6-year-old boy.
"Oh, yeah? Well Donky is re-donk-ulus," his older sister fires back.
Big words. Big dreams. Big family fun. What else could anyone wish for?
Three stars out of four.
