Sanjeev Kuhendrarajah says his life has been "a living hell" since he was deported from Canada six years ago, and he hopes the country that once welcomed him will one day give him a second chance.

Kuhendrarajah recently revealed his true identity to the worldwide media -- that he was a former Toronto gang member -- after gaining attention when acting as spokesperson for a group of about 250 Sri Lankan asylum seekers who have been held in Merak, Indonesia since Oct. 11.

Using a cellular phone, Kuhendrarajah spoke to CTV.ca from the wooden boat that he has been stranded on for the past month.

"Right now my life is not in danger. But I am worried about my future," he said, when describing the predicament he is currently in.

According to Immigration and Refugee Board documents, Kuhendrarajah moved to Canada when he was five years old to live with his maternal grandparents.

In time, he began to have behavioural problems and was not getting along with the people in his life, both at home and at school. He also received counselling "for problems with anger."

When he was 18 years old, Toronto police arrested him and charged him with possessing an unregistered restricted weapon and with uttering threats. Then a member of the AK Kannan gang, Kuhendrarajah pleaded guilty and served time in jail.

In April 2003, he was deported back to Sri Lanka.

"I admit, I have a bad history," Kuhendrarajah said when discussing his criminal past, something he knew "was going to come up."

Since leaving Canada, however, Kuhendrarajah claims to have cleaned up his act, marrying and starting a family.

"My life has changed dramatically for the better," he said.

He moved to India for several years where he hoped "to do something" with his life. But his visa eventually ran out, at which time he had to return to Sri Lanka. That's where he remained until recently.

His most recent move to start a new life in Australia -- the country where the migrants hoped to land when their vessel was intercepted by the Indonesian navy -- has landed him in the spotlight as the spokesperson for the would-be migrants.

Since being held in the Merak port, the migrants elected to stay on the boat while authorities sort out their situation. They are concerned about being held on Indonesian soil, where refugee claims can take "up to 10 years" to process, Kuhendrarajah said.

Indonesian authorities have not made any moves to suggest that they will raid the boat in which the migrants are staying, though it remains a distinct possibility.

Kuhendrarajah said he has had to "fight and argue" with his Indonesian contacts over access to electricity and diesel fuel for the boat they remain stranded on.

He said people on the boat have been sick with various flus and other viruses during their month-long stay in the port in Merak, about 110 kilometres northwest of the Indonesian capital of Jakarta.

But his oldest brother, 29-year-old Shathesh Kuhendrarajah, who lives in Canada, said that the migrants who have fallen ill have been taken care of in Indonesia. At least one person was taken to hospital for treatment after a three-day hunger strike, he said.

Their mother lives in British Columbia and their father lives in the United Kingdom, Shathesh Kuhendrarajah said. While many members of the family live in Canada, they have relatives spread throughout the world.

Sanjeev Kuhendrarajah, who remains stranded in Indonesia, said he is sorry for a past that was "maybe not as good as it should have been."

Wondering aloud if Canada will give him "a second chance," Kuhendrarajah said he would like to see his wife and three daughters gain the chance to live among their Canadian relatives, even if that is not possible for him.

"I've ruined my life," he said. "I've paid my price for it, and I need a second chance."

Shathesh Kuhendrarajah says that stories like that of his brother will become more common as more people make their way out of Sri Lanka, following the end of the 25-year-long civil war that killed an estimated 80,000 to 100,000 people.

"Right now, this is a recent story," he said. But soon, there will be "more and more ships that will be coming out of Sri Lanka."

Last month, Canada intercepted a ship off the coast of B.C. that was carrying 76 Sri Lankan men.

Most of the men have remained in custody since landing in Canada. At least one has been released under strict conditions.