This story includes references to sexual abuse and addiction that may be distressing.
When Mia Lynch walks along the Halifax waterfront, she often catches a glimpse of HMCS Goose Bay, which was the first coastal defence vessel she ever sailed on.
The 36-year old was once a proud member of the Royal Canadian Navy, but not long after enlisting in 2003, her pride turned into pain.
"When I first joined there was a Christmas party at the unit and there was a lot of alcohol being passed around," she said. "I ended up drinking quite a bit that night, and I blacked out."
When she eventually woke up, she realized something was terribly wrong. "I was sexually assaulted, I felt afraid and very ashamed."
In the aftermath of the alleged assault, Lynch struggled with what to do. She was new to the navy, and as a woman she was a minority in her unit.
"I was too frightened to report it," she said. "I thought that if I did it would be the end of my career. I thought it was kind of an old boys club, and no one would believe me, so I just kept it a secret."
Cases like Lynch's are not uncommon in the Canadian Armed Forces. According to Statistics Canada report from 2016, 27.3 per cent of women and 3.8 percent of men reported having been victims of sexual assault at least once since joining the military.
"Sexual misconduct has brought the CAF into disrepute, both internally and in the eyes of the general public," said former Supreme Court justice Louise Arbour in a scathing report released on May 30, which was a blistering indictment of the military's "handling of sexual misconduct," "abuse of power" and "toxicity in the work environment."
The review, more than a year in the making, also made 48 recommendations for consideration by the federal government, ranging from an overhaul of the institution’s recruiting system to removing sexual offence cases from military courts.
“The CAF has been unwilling or unable to embrace the intent and vision that came from external sources, choosing the letter over the spirit, often the appearance of implementation over its substance, thereby entrenching their ways of operating. I believe this is a consequence of the insularity within which the CAF has traditionally operated, and its determination to perpetuate its old ways of doing business,” she said.
Along with recommending sweeping changes, Arbour's report highlighted that "fear of retaliation" is very real to military sexual abuse victims. At the time, the federal government said it “accepted” the report in its entirety and was in the process of implementing several of the recommendations.
"I wasn't just assaulted once, it happened many times in my career, by different people," said Lynch. "There were times when I tried to report it, but I was discouraged by other people in the military to follow through, so I eventually dropped it."
Lynch said one alleged attack occurred when she was "asleep in her barracks". She claims someone got into her room and attempted to assault her. The incident amplified her fear and also plunged her into a depression.
"Not only did I already feel hopeless and that there was no other way out, but now I felt completely useless, abandoned by this organization that I given my life."
To cope with the trauma, Lynch started to drink heavily when not at work. At the same time, she was prescribed hydromorphone, because she underwent four surgeries in one month. The drug is a potent opioid analgesics, used to treat moderate to severe pain.
"I started mixing that with alcohol and I definitely used those substances to numb my feelings of self-contempt, powerlessness and uselessness," she said. "When my prescription ran out, I started trying cocaine."
Decades of research have found a strong link between exposure to traumatic events and substance use problems. While the data is limited for active members in the Canadian Armed Forces, studies from the United States and United Kingdom have indicated a high prevalence of substance use among military personnel.
"Substance use disorder is prevalent in the armed forces, probably four to five times higher than the general population, depending on what study you are citing, " said Colette Currin, who is the National Director of Military, Veterans and First Responders for EHN Canada.
Specializing in mental health and addictions treatment, Currin said it is not unusual to find military members struggling with substance use.
It is estimated that 60 to 80 per cent of CAF veterans diagnosed with PTSD have experienced substance abuse problems.
"A lot of what we see in the military culture is also in the general population, but it can be accentuated given the very unique structure of the military, obviously very male dominated, which for females can also present a unique intersectionality,” Currin said.
Lynch's struggles and substance use lead to attempted suicide in 2015. During this time, she began treatment and sought out support from friends and family.
"I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, as well as generalized and social anxiety."
Despite all the difficulties and obstacles, Lynch tried to stay in the Navy because she loved her job and serving her country.
However, in September, 2018 she was medically released from the armed forces. When she left the institution, she had achieved the rank of a petty officer, second class.
"Since then I spent seven months in trauma treatment and I am now trying to get my feet under me in order to heal and feel whole again."
Lynch has also now been sober since 2020, and is planning a return to school, in hopes of building a future free from her military past.
