TORONTO -- Making new year’s resolutions for 2021 may seem overwhelming, considering the tremendous challenges of this past year, but some self-help gurus are advising people to take the pressure off and change the way they make their resolutions.
Alberta-based life coach Michele Charles Gustafson suggested giving yourself permission to not set any at all this year and encourages the idea of “unresolutions.”
“There’s a difference between a goal and an aim. A goal is finite; you act, you win or you lose,” Gustafson told CTV’s Your Morning on Wednesday. “An aim is progressive; you act, you learn and then you act again.”
She added, “Most resolutions are stated as goals, in which case, you either win or you lose. And that’s where the pressure lays, that’s where the anxiety builds up.”
Gustafson said that without shifting the focus of new year’s resolutions away from goal-making, people will feel like they’re failing at them.
“It’s really not motivating,” she said.
According to Gustafson, a good strategy would be to take the focus off the goal and to think about what you would like to learn in the new year.
“Learning is important and if you focus on the learning, you’re able to focus on what you’re doing, instead of what you’re not doing,” Gustafson said. “It’s all about reframing and putting it into a context where you’re acting instead of just hoping to make it happen.”
As the new year approaches, Gustafson offered some tips to help give people gain more perspective. She said that quiet time with a journal and a pen to "have a conversation with yourself" is one of the most important steps to help reframe your focus in the new year.
“You have to listen to yourself,” she said. “Then you need some supportive relationships around you [...] they’re going to help you stay on target.”
