‘Very fine-tuned manipulation’: Recognizing the characteristics of cults

Psychologist Lisa Rowbottom joined CTV Morning Live Edmonton to speak about cults and how you can help your loved ones.

Cults have become a big part of pop culture with streaming, like documentaries and podcasts, and some of these people may be our friends and family. Psychologist Lisa Rowbottom joined CTV Morning Live’s Kim Wynn with advice on how you can recognize someone in a cult and how you can help.

This transcript has been edited for length and clarity.

Kimberly Wynn: How do you recognize that somebody is in a cult?

Lisa Rowbottom: You’re looking for three primary characteristics when you’re trying to decide if something is a cult or not. The first one is going to be a very charismatic leader who’s going to have unchecked power in the cult. So what they say goes and they’re going to be the object of worship. Then you’re looking at control or coercion. The person is going to isolate people. They’re going to start dictating who the people can and can’t associate with. They’re going to start saying who they can and can’t have sex with, is usually a big part of it. Then you’re going to have the person using that control against the best interest of the members, so they’re going to take all of their money, or get them to fast for months on end and end up dying. It’s used in a very harmful way.

Kim: When you watch some of these popular documentary series from the outside looking in, you may think, “Why do you stay?” Why do people stay?

Lisa: Because of the course of control that’s in place. Generally, when somebody encounters a cult, they encounter it in a very benign fashion. It can be, “Come attend this workshop with me,” or, “Come and meet my friends.” Nobody walks in thinking, “I think I’m going to join a cult today.” It’s usually something that is of interest to the person, like making more money or being happier. Then once they’re in the door, the cult sets about isolating that person and reorganizing how they think, how they approach the world. It’s a very fine-tuned manipulation, and they’ll use things such as sleep deprivation or demands that break the person down. They start doubting their interpretation of reality. Then, because they’re in social isolation or in a bubble with other cult members and their definition of reality is broken apart, then they can start reassembling it into whatever they would like it to be. People don’t realize that.

Kim: If you think your loved one is in a cult, how do you approach this conversation?

Lisa: You have to be very strategic in how you do that because if you come across as too questioning or too threatening, the cult is going to pull that person back from you. You’re going to be seen as a threat by the cult leader and then they’re going to demand your family member cut off contact with you. When you’re talking to your family member, you remain questioning, but also guarded. You get them to talk about their belief systems and then you can gently point out maybe some contradictions that you’re seeing or some things that you’re hearing. Instead of saying, “Well, I heard your cult leader did blah, blah, blah,” you can say, “I heard that this was happening. So in light of what you guys believe, how do you explain this?” You’re making space for them to think when they’re outside of that cult atmosphere and you’re also remaining connected so that you’re there when they are ready to get out. Avoiding direct confrontation is one of the most important parts.

If you or someone you know is in a cult, you can reach out to: INFO CULT at 1-514-727-1600.