SEX AND THE CITY 2
FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT LOUBOUTONS ARE: 1 STAR
FOR PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT BIG'S LAST NAME IS PRESTON: 4 STARS

Two years ago I learned a very important lesson. After giving the original "Sex and the City" movie a so-so review I was deluged with hate mail. My favorite letter suggested I "shut my damn manhole," and never speak of the show or the movie again. What did I learn? I learned that you must never mess with Miranda, Charlotte, Carrie and Samantha. Too bad series creator and "Sex and the City 2" director Michael Patrick King hasn't learned the same thing.

Since the last movie Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Big (Chris Noth) have settled into the comfortable life of ordering in food from fancy restaurants instead of getting dolled up and eating out in fancy restaurants five nights a week. She misses their old glamorous life, he likes putting his feet up on the coach and watching television in bed. Meanwhile gal pals Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) are respectively, gulping down pre menopausal hormones, struggling to find a balance between work and child rearing and fretting that a busty nanny (Alice Eve) is attracting too much attention around the house. Their carefully manicured lives are fraying ever so slightly at the edges so what do they do? They head off for Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirate of course!

As I watched "SatC 2" the phrase "leave well enough alone" came to mind. On television Miranda, Charlotte, Carrie and Samantha became icons; cutting edge characters with verve, style and chutzpah. In the movies, however, it seems like they have been blunted. They still have style—the first obligatory Louboutin shot happens about sixty seconds in—but the verve and chutzpah seems forced. Michael Patrick King has allowed these once-upon-a-time titans of female empowerment to be trivialized. In other words he has messed with what made the show great. Whatever "SatC" is now, it is a much different thing than the television show.

There are flashes of the old magic every now and again. The iconic shot from Carrie's old Upper East Side brownstone window to Big's limo parked down below is a reminder of the good times and the quartet has undeniable chemistry. So when King allows the characters to be true to themselves the movie works, but a 146 minute movie needs more than flashes.

It's hard to know exactly when "SatC 2" nukes the fridge (apparently the term "jump the shark" has jumped the shark). Perhaps it's when Miley Cyrus shows up wearing the same dress as Samantha. Perhaps it's during the intolerably bad "I Am Woman" karaoke scene, which is meant to be a grrl power anthem, but frankly, is just embarrassing. Or perhaps it is when the movie leaves its NYC home base and becomes the culturally insensitive "Carrie of Arabia."

Whenever it is that it goes wrong, and believe me, it does go wrong, it probably won't matter much to "SatC" fans. The audience I saw it with treated the movie as an interactive experience, commenting on the clothes, the relationships and the plot revelations as if they were enjoying a Cosmo with the girls at Buddakan.

Fans have a real life loyalty to these characters that isn't dissimilar to the bond the fictional Miranda, Charlotte, Carrie and Samantha share. I guess that's what it means to be friends, you stick with them during good times and bad, but in "Sex and the City 2" there are more bad times than good.

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME: 2 ½ STARS

über producer Jerry Bruckheimer draws his inspiration from many places. He makes movies based on video games, amusement park rides, and toys. One day perhaps he'll make one based on a bed spring, and you know what? It'll be successful. The guy is genetically programmed to make movies that make money. His latest blockbuster-in-the-waiting is "The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time," the action-adventure that hopes to make Jake Gyllenhaal (and his finely sculpted abs) the next Steve Reeves.

Based on the video game, the action packed story starts when Dastan is still a parkour practicing preteen peasant who out smarts the king's guards and earns himself a spot in the royal household. Cut to many years later. Dastan is now a full grown man who looks a lot like "Brokeback Mountain" star Jake Gyllenhaal. He's a bit on the wild side, but when he uses ancient firebombing techniques and slo mo to defeat enemy forces his reward is to be treated like a traitor and sent into exile. With the help of Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) and a crafty ostrich jockey (Alfred Molina) he might be able to prove his innocence and prevent the mystical Dagger of Time—releasing sand from the hilt of the knife turns back time and turns Dastan into a cool looking special effect—from falling into the wrong hands. Along the way there are double crosses, much videogame action and, of course, a love match. That Princess Tamina. Jake just can't quit her.

This is the movie I'm sure Gyllenhaal's management hopes does for him what "Pirates of the Caribbean" did for Johnny Depp, that is, get Bruckheimerized. Like he did for Will Smith, Nic Cage and Depp, all actors best known for doing risky character parts, Bruckheimer's magic may turn him into household (although still difficult to spell) name. Will it work? Probably. Maybe. Who knows? Gyllenhaal is already a respected actor, and does what he can to emerge from this sword and sandal showdown with as much dignity intact as possible, but the movie and his character don't have the same kind of verve that, say, Johnny Depp showed in the first "PotC." Dastan is a big action role but aside from the odd emotional moment Gyllenhaal never really makes the role his own, in the way that Depp made Captain Jack Sparrow into a character that sold Halloween costumes and inspired the guy at the desk next to yours to do bad pirate impressions for weeks after seeing the movie. Savvy?

What it does have is lots of action. The camera NEVER stops moving and when "Prince of Persia"—the character and the movie—is flip, flop and flying it is campy good fun. Gyllenhaal is literally crawling the walls in a display of physical prowess (and some pretty cool parkour) that'll make your eyeballs dance, but when the story goes into the Sands of Time Mythology ™, or should that be mumbi jumbo, it'll make your previously watusi-ing eyeballs glaze over. The crazy time shifting folklore and hopelessly silly solution to the sands situation slows the movie down to a shuffle and is only saved by Sir Ben Kingsley's eye-rolling pantomime.

"The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" is typical Bruckheimer bombast. It's a huge movie with big battle scenes, a love story, a few laughs (some intentional, some not) and even a flock of ostriches. It has everything you want from a summer blockbuster except really memorable characters or a noteworthy story.

YEAR OF THE CARNIVORE: 3 STARS

"Year of the Carnivore" is musician-turned-VJ-turned-radio host-turned actor-turned-director Sook-Yin Lee's first feature film behind the camera. As befitting someone who has spent her entire career restlessly exploring the various facets of creative life, Lee has made a movie about a search for identity.

Sammy (a beautifully cast Cristin Milioti) is a twenty-one year old grocery store detective. By day she tracks down shop lifters, by night she pines for the affections of Eugene (Mark Rendall) a musician with commitment issues. Following a failed bit of bump and grind with Eugene, Sammy goes on a mission to become sexually experienced—she's been celibate so long a friend jokes she's be "revirginated"— sleeping with guys—some willing, some not—to overcome a crippling tickle problem. On her journey to "unleash her inner femme" she meets a mother with post partum depression, a wise but randy older woman and an avocado thief with some helpful words of encouragement.

Call it "Sex and the Canadian City" but instead of Carrie's couture we have high indie style—carefully mussed hair and shapeless clothes—and bicycles instead of limos. It's a look at young, naïve people, behaving like young, naïve people, which could have been trite, but Lee, who also wrote the script, infuses the characters with so much heart that despite the movie's taste for quirky humor and situations—in this world there are shoplifters everywhere and many people have sex in public—Sammy's search for meaning in her life is heartfelt and compelling.

Milioti leads the strong cast in a performance that radiates vulnerability and humor. She's physically frail but Milioti allows the character's inner strength to shine through as it becomes clear to her that she must embrace who she is as well as who she isn't. Her journey to her comfort zone (and Eugene's arms) is a trip worth taking.