Six months ago, Hannah Carnat-Gronnerud was busy planning her wedding, but she now finds herself planning a much different type of event: a Valentine’s Day gathering for widows. Just six weeks before their wedding day, Carnat-Gronnerud’s fiancé, Ian de Metz, died in a workplace accident in Calgary. He was 31. “Something I love that people said about him is he wasn’t a simple man, but he found joy in the simple things in life,” she told CTV News. “He’s very gentle and soft but also spunky and has a great sense of humour.” It’s been half a year of grief and heartbreak, and Carnat-Gronnerud says it has been family and friends—both in person and through an online community of supporters—who have helped her navigate this. “I never, ever, ever thought this would happen to Ian and I, but it did,” she said Wednesday. “Having the space to grieve and love and speak about it is vital. It’s so important. And I really want to normalize that, as scary and as terrifying as it is.” With the help of her wedding planner, Carnat-Gronnerud has organized an event in Calgary for women who have also lost a partner or someone they love. “One day, we’re talking about cake, and then, the next day, I will never forget that phone call that suddenly, he’s gone and we have to cancel everything,” said Nelli Horvat of Charmed Events. “For me, that was a moment I will never forget.” For some, Valentine’s Day can be about love, flowers and chocolate, but it can also be painful for those who are grieving. “On Valentine’s Day, I’m really going to feel the absence of (Ian’s) presence here,” Carnat-Gronnerud said. “I really wanted to be with someone else who understood.” The free Women and Widows Valentine’s Day event will happen in Calgary on Feb. 15 and will include food, drinks and quiet spaces for people to connect and support each other. People interested are urged to sign up for the event online before Feb. 8. Carnat-Gronnerud hopes it’s an opportunity for widows to feel a little less alone and feel support from people who have gone through something similar. “Whether or not you’re speaking to other widows and people who’ve lost people to cancer or to prolonged illness, the grief is so different but also still so shared,” Carnat-Gronnerud said. “The thing about grief is it needs to be witnessed, it needs to be held and it needs to be honoured.”
