When Lauren McKinnon looks at a photo of herself taken eight months ago, she can’t help but get overwhelmed. “I see hopeless. I see broken,” said McKinnon. McKinnon took the selfie last August at the height of her substance use disorder. She looks gaunt, unhealthy, completely lost and in despair. “I just see that dark look in my eyes that I just never thought I would be full of light again really. It’s emotional for me to look at. To see the person I stare at in the mirror every day, it just still blows me away to think of how far I’ve come,” said McKinnon. After several attempts at sobriety, the 31-year-old stopped using on her own and began a recovery program with Harvest House Atlantic last September. She’s staying at an all-women’s residence and is on track to move into her own place in May. She doesn’t look anything like she does in the photo. Instead, McKinnon looks healthy, confident and excited for the future. The trouble began soon after she moved from Sydney, N.S., to Calgary when she was 19. McKinnon began bartending and started dating a man she knew from Cape Breton who was working in the oil fields. Soon after, she says she fell into a world of drinking and drugs and eventually abuse and trauma. “It kind of just spiraled out of control. He was very physically abusive. It all started with the emotional and mental abuse. A lot of gaslighting,” said McKinnon. The couple were together for seven years and had two girls. She eventually decided enough was enough, and with the help of the Calgary Police Service she moved back to Nova Scotia with her children, but brought her troubles with her. Alcohol and crack cocaine were her drugs of choice and at the height of her addiction she was drinking 40 ounces of rum a day. “Straight liquor. My stomach was not in good shape,” said McKinnon. Going cold turkey worked on more than one occasion, and by May of 2025 she had been clean for 11 months and living at home with her girls in New Glasgow, N.S. But unresolved trauma led to a relapse and a sudden destructive streak she couldn’t get out of. “Things just kind of got ahead of me and I ended up relapsing and within that first month of relapse I lost my girls,” she said. Her daughters were sent to live with a close family friend in Cape Breton. By August she had realized how hard she had fallen and how quickly, and knew homelessness was a distinct possibility. “I knew it was coming if I didn’t take the chance to get clean when I did. I was evicted at that point. My kids were gone, I had nothing. I was basically just living to survive, which isn’t really living,” she said. Harvest House is a faith-based organization that supports men and women in the Moncton, N.B., area who are facing homelessness and struggling with addiction and mental health issues. McKinnon had never tried a faith-based program before, but she was willing to do anything to get her life back on track. “Everything else I’ve tried didn’t work. What do I have to lose?” said McKinnon. “I really never thought that I would have this chance at being a mom. The mom that I was knew I was meant to be.” Matthew Holmes is the manager of recovery at Harvest House and oversees both the men and women’s recovery programs. “When she called and we were doing her phone interviews, she would admit that she was a mess. I honestly didn’t have much hope for her. I was concerned, I knew she wanted it, didn’t know if it would ever be possible,” said Holmes. Harvest House offers a post-detox recovery program. McKinnon managed to stopped drinking on her own, she did the work herself, something that Holmes said can be dangerous and isn’t recommend. They accepted her into the program and Homes said staff started seeing growth within her right away. Harvest House takes people into their residency programs from their downtown shelter or the streets, but they don’t have to be homeless. It’s not a medical program, but clients have to be sober when they enter. If the program is successful, Harvest House helps clients find housing. That’s where McKinnon is now. She just signed a lease in a good Moncton neighbourhood and hopes her girls will be joining her soon and attending school in the fall. She’ll be returning to Cape Breton this week for her youngest daughter’s eighth birthday and her main goal in life is to try and get custody again. “We’re working towards a reunification plan,” she said. Holmes said it’s never too late for people like McKinnon, no matter how badly they are struggling. “We see people all the time that are at the end of themselves and thought that there was no hope. And we find that when people are at that stage that’s the foundation, that’s the starting point. If you think there’s no hope for you, you’re in a great spot. Reach out for help. There’s a lot of organizations that are willing to help,” said Holmes. McKinnon has a simple message for other people going through what she’s experienced. “No story is broken for redemption. I really do believe that,” said McKinnon. For more New Brunswick news, visit our dedicated provincial page.
