Coping with back-to-school anxiety for parents and caregivers

Coping With Back-To-School Anxiety Family Therapist Nataxja Cini shares tips for parents to help them cope with their emotions during this time of difficult decisions.

OTTAWA — The start of the school year is a stressful time for parents in a normal year, let alone in the middle of a global pandemic.

Parents, guardians and caregivers have had to decide whether to send their children back into a classroom and risk them getting COVID-19 or keep them home, and risk other problems like mental health stresses, social withdrawal, and a lack of motivation for remote learning.

Every family's choice is different, but each one is stressful for many similar reasons.

Nataxja Cini is an Ottawa-based therapist and founder of Family-Therapy.ca. She tells CTV Morning Live it's normal for parents and caregivers to feel stressed out, given that information is changing regularly.

"The first point is nothing is concrete right now," she says. "First it was school is going to look like this, now it's going to be staggered, now it's going to be like this. I think parents need to be aware and accept the fact that it's a moving target this year. It's so uncertain for everybody and just acknowledge that."

Cini says the usual routines that have developed over the years have to be thrown out because information is changing regularly.

Is it okay to feel insecure about your choices?

"Yes," Cini says. "So many parents are feeling that way. You have to make the decision that's right for you. There's no right decision. It's very personal. You have to make the choice that you think is best for your family and if you want to change your mind, go ahead."

While it's normal to feel anxious, Cini says anxiety is contagious and children pick up on their parents' worries.

"It's really important that you take a deep breath, reassure your kids that we're doing the best we’re going to be doing and talk to somebody else, don't talk in front of the kids all the time about how worried you are about school," she says. "Talk with your spouse, talk with your peer group, and check in on how your own anxiety is doing. Speak with a mental health professional."

Older children can be involved in the discussions.

"It's really important, with the older children, to have a discussion because it is their education and, also, how to they best learn? Some kids will be better learning at home because they can concentrate and get the work done and other kids will be better in the classroom."

Cini stresses that each family has to make the decision that works best for them.

"Don’t let other people persuade you or criticize you that your choice isn't right. It's a very personal choice this year," she says.

For younger children, Cini recommends roleplaying what school is going to be like, with masks, extra handwashing, and other measures.

"Moms and dads sending their kids off to kindergarten are anxious anyhow. This year, there's an added layer. I think you need to do the situational roleplaying with the children: what happens if someone wants to give you a hug? What happens if you see somebody crying in class? Also, how to say no to your friends without rejecting them."

Cini also says to be prepared for kids to lose their masks.

"It's about responding and not reacting to situations," she says.