Communication most effective tool at assessing teens' online behaviour: experts

Extended: Talk to teens about online habits Cyber security expert Steve Waterhouse said communicating is better than trying to watch teens at all times.

Parents are the first –and sometimes only – line of defence when it comes to teens and online threats, cyber security experts warn.

After two St-Hyacinthe teens were arrested last week on serious charges connected to an alleged plot to kill three people and rape a fourth, cyber security consultant Steve Waterhouse and McGill cyber bullying researcher Shaheen Shariff agree that communication is a more effective tool that constant surveillance of their social media habits.

“How much can parents monitor in this age of social media? It’s very difficult,” said Shariff, who is an associate professor at the McGill Department of Integrated Studies in Education. “Communication – there is no other way in this day and age to find out.”

With smart phones, and near-constant access to the internet, it’s “extremely difficult” to watch kids at all times, said Shariff, adding that one practical tip is to keep computers in a shared space in the home.

Still, she said, it’s not about spying on your kids, but reminding them that social media is a public space, and approaching their behaviour online not in a suspicious way, but in a collaborative one.

Waterhouse added that parents need to teach their kids what to browse and what to post.

“First of all, get into that frank conversation, because if you permit your child to go online, you’re exposing them to be not just in the public’s view, but seeing the world… They’re getting on the internet, and the internet is the world. So accompany them through that journey,” he said, adding that parents who feel overwhelmed by all the different social media platforms should seek out courses offered in the community and educate themselves.

The mother of one of the two arrested boys allegedly found threatening messages and the plot's details on her son's Facebook accounts, something both experts applauded.

Parents can sometimes have keen insight into the tone of their child’s posts to determine if a threat is serious of sarcastic. Both instances should addressed, said Shariff.

“Sarcasm is sometimes hard to tell in terms of joking—the challenge is the parent being able to assess if this is really serious and then even if they’re joking, to talk to their kids to say, ‘Okay, this is not appropriate. You’ve got to communicate in other ways,’” she said.

Parents can’t leave it up to social media platforms to manage and assess risks.

“With the billions of words being exchanged daily, it’s (difficult) to pick up these how they might be intended,” said Waterhouse. “Since Facebook doesn't have an army of people interpreting everything, yes, something like this can go under the radar undetected.”