LONDON, U.K. -- Let’s get back to dogs for a moment.

I know, I know, that’s so last week. You have to tell me when this conversation no longer captivates your attention and you start clicking over to YouTube. I can take it.

Specifically, let’s get back to dogs on leads in London’s royal parks.

The subject has taken on outsize proportions in our shrinking world of house arrest, constant snacking, shortness of patience, and nothing better to talk about.

The rule is very clear. Dogs in royal parks must be kept on lead until further notice. We’re in a coronavirus emergency. Since the Queen has asked us all to do our part -- indirectly -- why are people ignoring her. Nothing personal I hope.

So here’s what happened this morning.

The air was calm, the sky overcast, and there was a woman absently walking her dog as if COVID-19 had never happened. No lead in sight.

I couldn’t just walk by and keep quiet, which others have suggested is a flaw in my personality, sometimes described as having a big mouth, or getting involved in something that’s none of my business.

As part-owner of a dog that is frustrated at being held back by three-meters of lead, this was definitely my business.

“You’re supposed to have your dog on a lead,” I said, trying not to sound whiney. I did anyway.

She looked at me with fake surprise.

“Really. I didn’t know that.”

Liar, liar, there are signs everywhere.

“You’re hurting us all,” I answered, laying on the guilt. “They’ll close the park if we don’t obey the rules.”

We didn’t wait to see if she bent down and fastened her dog’s lead. Oh, the sheer satisfaction of feeling morally superior.

I have to ask: How many of you would have done the same thing? Was I being obnoxious, intrusive, or totally justified? Let’s have a show of hands clad in protective latex.

Of course, it’s not about the dogs, it’s about the people. Sara, Ruth, Louise and Mellissa discuss this a lot during their Zoom cocktail hours, which have replaced mornings together in the park. Drinks instead of dogs.

The bad people are joggers who spit, joggers who crowd the pathway, joggers who get too close with their mouths open, and the newest target of their collective indignation: people who refuse to put their dogs on lead.

This a war without end, the way coronavirus feels most days. Why can’t joggers run on the grass? Because it’s too muddy. Why are some walkers waving sticks at joggers? To keep them from getting too close. Why can’t joggers just stop running and stay at home like we’ve all been asked to do? That’s not really a question, so much as a battle cry.

There is no middle ground it seems, to offer a pun. But there is a poison pill.

Ruth, who has planted flowers and trees in The Regent’s Park and walked her dogs there for decades, does not shrink from offering strong opinions.

“I think they should just close it.”

Nobody wants that, Ruth above all. Sadly it may happen.

England is expecting warm spring weather this weekend, and normally the royal parks are teeming with families on days like that. Prime Minister Boris Johnson has already pleaded with people to stay home, and essentially, be content with looking out their prison windows.

There’s always The Dog Lover’s Jigsaw Puzzle, I suppose.