LONDON -- How to make a perfect Scotch egg, which by the way has nothing to do with Scotland.

Where is this going, you might ask.

We are attempting to understand how a very powerful British cabinet minister by the name of Michael Gove really feels about the humble Scotch egg.   

Is it indeed humble, or substantial?

Reader beware: political mockery and bad puns ahead. As in, politician eats his words and ends up with egg on his face?

But first…to the kitchen. And then to the pub.

Boil 4 eggs for 8-10 minutes then chill in a bowl of ice water.

Mix 300 grams of sausage meat with a finely chopped and lightly sautéed spring onion. Add salt, pepper and maybe some Thyme leaves. 

Peel the eggs, roll them in flour and wrap them with the sausage meat mixture.

Almost done. Coat them in breadcrumbs for deep-frying, or finish them in the oven until they are dark and golden.

Okay, not perfect, but you get the idea.

By the way, the Scotch egg was created by Fortnum and Mason in 1738. “Scotching” is the process of mincing the meat to go around the egg.

Of course, it’s a lot easier to go the pub and order a couple. It is the quintessential British bar snack. Who makes a Scotch egg at home?

Except nowadays under COVID-19 guidelines, you can’t just walk into your local pub and order a pint and a Scotch egg. If you want a drink, you have to be sitting at a table and order a “substantial meal.”

This is where Michael Gove comes in, whose official cabinet title is Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Oh, he’s also a former journalist.

“A couple of Scotch eggs is a starter,” he told LBC radio with the authority of a man who’s sampled a few in his life. Forthright. Assured. Confident.

What perhaps the Chancellor didn’t realize is that a cabinet colleague had already declared a Scotch egg to be a substantial meal. Eaten sitting down of course.

So which is it? No wonder British pub owners are feeling confused and abused.

Or, you could say, the debate over Scotch Eggs became too hard to swallow.

By the end of a morning, Chancellor Gove’s position had evolved quite radically, to the point of a screeching U-turn, as The Guardian described it.

“A Scotch egg is a substantial meal,” he told ITV News, without even a hint of equivocation.

In fact, said the minister, “I myself would definitely scoff a couple of Scotch eggs if I had the chance.”

Perhaps it was hunger that made him change his mind.

Whatever, it left Robert Peston, one of the country’s best-known political commentators, muttering about silliness and bizarre behaviour. 

“This,” he declared on Twitter, “is all bonkers.”