TORONTO -- With divorce and separation proceedings on hold and COVID-19 public health measures still in place in certain areas, some Canadians have found themselves stuck living in the same house as their ex amid the pandemic.

Being forced to spend hours inside with the same person has forced former couples still living together to navigate new ways of working, parenting and just getting along with each other.

Toronto-based family lawyer Lindsey Love-Forester told CTVNews.ca that the stress of having children away from school -- but not from school responsibilities -- and the financial tension caused by households suddenly losing some of their income can put a lot of stress on strong couples’ relationships, let alone those who have broken up.

"We have the added unprecedented time where parties are now stuck at home together. So you take people who are losing their jobs or you take people who are not getting along and you stick them together at home under quarantine, that's inevitably going to lead to further stresses," Love-Forester told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview.

Added to financial stress is the fear of family members contracting the virus, disagreements about what constitutes physical distancing and uncertainty about how long this strange new routine will last.

Love-Forester, who is also a partner at Lerners Law Firm, said former couples who are still living together need to find a way to amicably get through the pandemic without the courts.

"The best advice, and what the courts seem to be suggesting to parents and to parties, is to use common sense and to cooperate to come together with a practical solution not involving the court and to work together because nobody has the answer for how long we're going to be in this circumstance," Love-Forester said.

MAKING IT WORK

Sudbury, Ont. residents Kristine and Eric Miron told CTVNews.ca that their separation agreement just went through last week. However, the former couple will continue living together until more restrictions brought on by the pandemic are eased, specifically those around the housing market so Eric can move out.

"Because of COVID, Eric is still trying to buy himself a house, but things are a little bit slow. He's looking to buy a duplex and even just to get in to see the place is challenging," Kristine told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview. "Eventually when he does, he also has to give the tenants notice, and that will take longer also because of the pandemic."

The physical act of separating for couples has been near impossible during the pandemic, according to Love-Forester.

"If two people are considering separating, there's difficulties in terms of just physical separation, one person leaving the house where do you go? So I would expect that people are thinking more carefully about the decisions they make because of the government's protocols and guidelines on social distancing make it a lot more difficult," Love-Forester said.

Kristine and Eric, who are both teachers, say they feel like their relationship is in limbo, but agree that the extra time has been beneficial for their young kids to understand what family life may look like after COVID-19.

"When I do leave it will be a little bit easier on them instead of just like -- OK new place, new house -- the transition will be easier and it will be a lot friendlier too, it's not a sudden change," Eric said. "They have time to ask questions and… they're dealing with it."

Kristine said the biggest factor to consider amid their current living situation is patience, not just with each other but also with their kids.

"They're trying to go through this as we are. They don't understand, they think they're already on holidays. They're home with us and that's ideal for them so it's about communicating with them too," Kristine said.

Love-Forester said those couples going through a separation should try to remain in the same house during the pandemic for the benefit of their kids. However, she acknowledged that it is not known when the pandemic will end and some couples may not be able to wait that long.

"The extent to which parents and spouses can work together in a circumstance, you want to say ride this out but we don’t know how long COVID is going to last," Love-Forester said.

"If people are finding themselves in a circumstance where they're considering it or wanting to separate I think they should reach out and understand their obligations and understand their rights, and if there are children, to do what's best for the children and put those negative emotions aside."

Kristine and Eric said they are more like "business partners" now and work to compromise for their children.

"We're really, really great together as parents and friends, we talk about everything," Eric said. "But the intimacy part was starting to fall behind and lack because I'm very busy, I'm trying to build a business and that's kind of taken over my life."

The former couple said they decided to separate because they had grown apart. Kristine said Eric is pursuing a music career that she does not see herself being a part of.

"We got together when we were young, and I mean you evolve as a person and your values change or your end goal sometimes changes and we just were going in different directions. I want something that Eric doesn't want," Kristine said. "We're just better separate and better apart."

LIFE ON HOLD

Kerry Hansen, a journeyman electrician in Red Deer, Alta., said he and his ex decided to keep living together when the pandemic hit out of concern for their finances. While he continues to work up north, Hansen said there was initial uncertainty about whether his ex, who is a teaching assistant, would still have a job.

"We've been married 17 years and just before the pandemic hit we kind of fell on the rocks and she decided that it was time to take a break. And I was like 'OK I'll find a place to live and leave her with the house,'" Hansen said in a phone interview on Thursday. "Then all of a sudden it's like, 'Oh crap, I guess we have to get along and still keep the joint bank account'."

Hansen said they will continue living together until the housing market improves and he can find his own place.

Hansen’s ex declined to speak with CTVNews.ca.

"It's been awkward at times but we still function as parents to the kids and both make decisions for the kids for their best interest and for the best of the household," Hansen said. "Until the pandemic gets better and the housing market gets better we're just status quo until then."

For Kristine and Eric, the biggest challenge is that they feel like their lives are on hold.

"To be frank, the idea of separating is to be separate," Kristine said. "We don't get to start that life like we don't get to start that new chapter. Our new norm is a little bit prolonged but we are trying to see the positives in that."

Kristine said one positive is that she still has a partner in parenting their kids.

"Still being able to support each other in this weird time and to still have that other person to parent that's a pro of having to do this just because of our jobs ... Otherwise it'd be a single parent and a teacher all together," Kristine said.

"But knowing that there is another chapter and not being able to start living it is hard," she added.

Despite no longer being romantically involved, the former couple said they still respect one another. They said the pandemic has given them time to sort out how they will parent once Eric officially moves out.

"We are stuck in limbo and can’t go to the next step but our relationship, because now that we're aware that we're separate, we're different with each other. We're not husband and wife anymore, we're a different kind of dynamic," Eric said.

Kristine said they hope to maintain their family life as much as possible after the health crisis.

"We're still partners, we're still best friends, that's still our relationship now," Kristine said. "We're still going to have that same kind of relationship with the kids and we will do stuff as a family, go on little trips or have suppers together even when this is over and we can separate."

LEARNING TO ADAPT

For Cara Smith, living with her ex during the pandemic has made her feel stuck in a life she no longer wants.

"It's been strange and learning to adapt to it is quite different, because we've both moved on and are in new relationships," Smith said in a phone interview with CTVNews.ca on Thursday.

"We're getting along but only if we don't stick around each other too much. But if we're in the house together, like on a weekend, and we're not doing our own thing, then we can get on each other's nerves."

The Edmonton resident said she and her ex have been separated for a year and were planning to put their house on the market when the pandemic hit. They are also trying to get paperwork for a divorce started.

Smith's ex could not be reached for comment.

Despite having both moved on, the former couple is still living in the same house with their two adult children. Smith said it is a "strange environment" and she's frustrated that the pandemic has put all of their lives on hold.

"Everybody is kind of in an upheaval situation because we had started packing stuff up, and now we've had to unpack stuff because we're stuck. My kids are 19 and 22 and they don't even know what they're doing yet because they don't know what we're doing," Smith said.

Smith added that she is worried Alberta will be hit by a second wave of infections before she and her ex are able to list their house, causing the family to be stuck living together for even longer.

"We've talked to a few realtors and some say you can list it now, but I don't know. We don't want to put it up and not being able to find a place, we're just really concerned," Smith said. "Everything is so slow and people don't seem to have answers for us."

Smith said she and her ex decided to separate for a variety of reasons: from no longer sharing a bedroom to disagreements on how they wanted to raise their kids.

"We just kind of drifted apart. We've been together married for almost 25 years -- that's a long time and as you get older, things change and you go different ways. You have different thinking, different opinions and hobbies, different everything. We just weren't seeing eye-to-eye on a lot of things," Smith said.

However, Smith said the couple is on good terms, for the most part.

"We seem to be doing better now as friends. When we first split up, we argued a lot but we seem to be more like really good roommates now," Smith said.

"Some weeks go by and we seem to be getting along and then I'm like, 'Well maybe I shouldn't be thinking about this divorce thing.' Then something [happens] and it's like 'Oh yeah, that's why.'"

SETTING BOUNDARIES

To cope, Smith said she and her ex have divided the house so they each have their own space. She said they are taking turns in the master bedroom and they each have their own TV rooms.

Smith said dividing the house has helped them stay out of each other’s way. They've also stopped talking about their personal lives to one another, split household chores and are not allowed to bring significant others into the house.

"Even doctor's appointments, usually couples share that kind of stuff and it's hard because you know someone will go to the doctor and you want to know what's going on, but you're not allowed to ask," Smith said.

While Smith said living with an ex has been depressing, it has given her time to make sure the separation is what she wants.

"We've got a lot of the time to talk about how much we want for the house, our financials, we've been able to discuss the separation agreement and what we agree on, what we're dividing, and we've had a lot more time to discuss furniture," Smith said.

"We can't jump right into everything. We have to take our time because we don't have anything else to do but wait for the courts."

Lindsey Love-Forester said the pandemic is hard on former couples looking to separate, but it is also hard for lawyers looking to help those couples.

"The court system is an already overburdened system and we now have a backlog, but [courts] are working really hard to ensure that there's access to justice," Love-Forester said.

"Over the last couple months, courts have expanded the matters they're hearing virtually and every few weeks lawyers are getting more directions and more availability for parties to get into court."

As teachers, Kristine and Eric said their careers have added an extra level of stress to living with an ex and managing a family during the pandemic.

"It's a challenge. Teaching online and then having to teach our own children with their courses too. Both of us think that our job is more important so having to figure out how you're going to juggle teaching and the kids… It's a lot of time management trying to figure that out," Kristine said.

"But we're still a good team, we're able to do that and like kind of respect each other," she added.

Kristine explained that they talk each night about what the other has planned for the following day and divide time with the kids accordingly.

"We have a calendar of who has what meetings when and we try to respect that. If I have a choice to not meet someone during that time then I'll do that and while Eric's in a meeting I'll make sure that I'm available for the kids," she said.

Despite still living together, Hansen said it helps that he and his ex get time apart when he travels for work every two weeks.

"Everything's still as a family unit but not at the same time, she does her own kind of life and I have my own outside of the house but inside the house it's status quo. Mom is mom and dad is dad, we still make decisions as a family," Hansen said.

The couple parent three kids between the ages of nine and 13. Hansen said he and his ex continue to make decisions "as a parental unit" for their children.

"We still do stuff as a family and eat meals together with the kids and both help around the house to keep things running smoothly," he said.

Hansen added that he is not sure what the future of their relationship looks like. The pair decided to take a break at the start of the pandemic but have not made any steps to legally separate.

"She said she hadn't been happy for several years, and was just kind of trying to keep the family together and make everyone happy, except it was making her miserable," Hansen said. "We're still friends and will still talk and text but it's just we're not a couple right now… Whether it goes any further, we're not 100 per cent sure yet."

While the pandemic may add extra stress to already strained relationships, Love-Forester said it may strengthen others.

"There may be people who are more frustrated and are thinking of separation but that's a temporary feeling, so in those circumstances it may be helpful to speak to somebody," Love-Forester said.

"But I think at the same token, you may have relationships that are going to be stronger because of this."