TORONTO -- Women have borne the brunt of the negative impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic, and now a survey by the Canadian Women’s Foundation shows that mothers and caregivers are struggling to care for themselves.

Women and primary caregivers are so overwhelmed trying to keep up with work, life and child care that they are unable to look after their own mental health, leaving them at risk for burnout and even illness, the foundation says.

“Three in five mothers wish they could make their mental health more of a priority, but half of them, about 47 per cent, were unable to prioritize taking care of themselves,” Andrea Gunraj, vice president of public engagement at the Canadian Women's Foundation, told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview on Thursday.

Employers offering services to overwhelmed caregivers is a start, but a cultural shift is still needed, she said.

“You have to make it easier for mothers to be able to get the support that they know they need rather than just being ready to have the services out there but not necessarily the social conditions that women need to be able to access those supports,” she said.

The survey of 399 randomly selected parents on April 9, 2021 found that 25 per cent of mothers felt they would be penalized for taking time off work, but Gunraj says this statistic is nothing new.

“The truth is that women have always been afraid to take time off and have always experienced a level of penalty for caregiving work,” she said.

Sociologists have termed it the Motherhood Penalty, the idea that working mothers are less hirable, paid less and perceived as less serious about their work. In contrast, men often benefit in the workplace from having a child, called the Fatherhood Bonus. 

Women, who traditionally take on most of the caregiving responsibilities, end up sacrificing themselves to keep their work and families afloat.

“There’s a thing that we call sacrifice syndrome, because you sacrifice your own identity for the well-being of the work situation, the well-being of your family, and then that will lead to burnout,” Abi Sriharan, assistant professor with the Institute for Health Policy, Management and Evaluation at the Dalla Lana School of Public Health University of Toronto, told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview on Thursday.

While burnout might sound like an issue that can be fixed by a nap or a quick break, it goes much deeper and can be harmful to health.

“We know from research that burnout can lead to other health issues like cardiovascular disease, issues like hypertension, diabetes and even in some studies that are coming out now that are showing long term effects of these things could lead to infertility,” she said.

This level of burnout and lack of work-life balance for parents who take on the majority of the caretaking and household work, especially during the pandemic, can leave them feeling like they’re failing in all areas of their life.

“Our children are home, many of them are in school, and particularly if children are young, it's become virtually impossible to try to be working full-time caring for the children at the same time, but the guilt levels are enormous,” Julie McCarthy, professor of organizational behaviour and HR management at the University of Toronto, Scarborough, told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview on Thursday.

And often, mothers and parents who are primary caregivers put their family’s needs ahead of their own.

“Often, we put others first, and we put our own needs on the backburner and for many of us we're so used to caring for others, that we can quickly get into a position where we've been slowly and steadily reaching a point of burnout and all of a sudden, we just can't keep up anymore,” McCarthy said.

To address this issue, experts say there need to be more conversations about flexibility in the workplace, and employers need to do more.

“The support has to be real support, not just to say: ‘we have employee assistance programs’,” said Sriharan

Employers should empower workers to feel that they can speak up in these situations and talk to their bosses and managers when they are feeling overwhelmed by the duties of work, life and child care.

“That allows them to be able to be more open, and to be able to share what they can and then they can work together, co-creating a solution,” she added.

Sriharan said that it’s not just the employee who will suffer if they’re not supported in these situations, their work could suffer as a result of them feeling overwhelmed. Coming up with solutions early will not only help the employee but could potentially avoid catastrophic mistakes.

“There is a lot of research and data to suggest that as employees become exhausted and burnt out their productivity levels go down,” said McCarthy. “It is only a win-win for organizations to focus on employee well-being and employee engagement, because productivity levels will be higher.”

Managers should lead by example and create a workplace where employees don’t feel they always have to be connected, said McCarthy.

She said that team leaders who do send emails or communications after standard work hours should let their employees know that they’re not expected to do the same. They should also be checking in with their employees to see how they’re coping.

“It's important that employers, and leaders in particular, be asking open-ended questions to parents: ‘How can we help you, what is it in the situation right now that would help you do your job effectively and also be able to balance the other responsibilities that you have’,” she said.

Being flexible in work hours and deadlines is important to helping mothers, parents and primary caregivers look after themselves, and work from home while also guiding their children through virtual schooling and addressing their daily needs.

“I think it's important to question: do we need to be working nine to five? Are there other schedules that may be more or less effective for different individuals?” said McCarthy.

This flexibility would provide an opportunity to help address the stark statistics that came out of the Canadian Women’s Foundation survey.

Women’s involvement in the workforce is at a 30-year low due to the pandemic and the fact that women hold many of the service industry jobs that have had to halt due to COVID-19 restrictions.

“I don't see that remedying itself, in and of itself, without changing policy and practice, whether it be workplace, whether it be what we're doing on the provincial and territorial level and what we're doing on the national level as well,” said Gunraj.

And that is what the Canadian Women’s Foundation hopes will come out of this survey and the other data it collects.

“That's part of the work that we're trying to really push forward, is this idea that we have to reset normal, we have to change the way that we look at work, and recognize that paid work and unpaid work go hand in hand,” she said.

Unpaid work often falls to women in the form of child care, elder care and looking after the dwelling, on top of their career obligations, said Gunraj.

Sriharan said it is important to remember that Canadian families and households aren’t just made up of men and women caregivers, and that men or non-binary people who take on the caregiving role are often just as burnt out but less likely to share these feelings. It’s also important to note that not everyone who has a child identifies as a mother.

“The caregiver, whether they are female, male or gender neutral, they all have the same burden of not being able to complete work and home, and then the added pressure of being socially isolated from everything and everyone,” she said.