Years after his mother's death, Tyler Perry says grief still 'shows up when it wants to'

Director Tyler Perry arrives ahead of the screening of "A Jazzman’s Blues", during the Toronto International Film Festival, on Sunday, Sept. 11, 2022. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Christopher Katsarov

The holiday season always reminds Tyler Perry of his late mother Maxine. She loved Thanksgiving and reveled in celebrating Christmas with her family. She also died 15 years ago this month, a grief Perry said still visits him this time of year.

"Grief shows up when it wants to," he told CNN’s Anderson Cooper on this week’s episode of his "All There Is" podcast, now in its third season. "No matter what you think, no matter how much time has passed, it’ll show up."

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Perry had a deeply close relationship with his mother, who loved to sing even though she "could not carry a note in a bucket." He credited her for the immense success he’s achieved today in his 2023 documentary “Maxine’s Baby: The Tyler Perry Story,” in which he chronicled, in part, how her death affected him at the peak of his career.

It was being able to provide for his mother that helped push him to achieve his professional goals. But when she was gone, Perry told Cooper, "so was that desire and that drive to keep pushing and working hard."

"Losing her was losing the love that I felt, but also losing the purpose to keep working and grinding that hard," he added.

It took around nine years for Perry to “turn the corner” after his mother’s death. When she first passed, he said, “it would literally take my breath away."

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Perry now finds strength in his work and told Cooper that it’s usually around this time of year, when the anniversary of his mother’s death comes around, that he tends to keep himself busy. He’s also learned to allow himself to feel grief when it comes and encourages others to do the same.

"I really do feel like it’s a living thing, like it is a visitor that will knock at the strangest moment (and) at the worst time," he said. "And I would just tell anybody what I’ve learned about it is you can’t fight it. Let it be because in order for it to get better eventually, it’s gotta move through you.”

Perry’s interview with Cooper was conducted prior to the death of Steve Mensch, the president and general manager of studio operations at Tyler Perry Studios. Mensch died in a plane crash on Friday.

In a statement posted to his Instagram page on Saturday, Perry called Mensch a "kind soul" and a "great leader."

"We all adored him and are devastated that he’s gone," he wrote. "I’m praying for his family as we all try to make sense of this heartbreak."

He added: "Life is but a moment. Hold strong to the people you love AND TELL THEM!"